How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter
by Ads S
Summary: "Welcome by 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat'. This is a step-by-step process of how to spend your seven years in Hogwarts falling for an insufferable prat. There are detailed step-by-step guidelines; specific for each year, with rea; life experiences included inside the manual. Enjoy! -Lily Potter nee Evans"
1. Steps 1-5: Year 1

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter

**_Welcome dear readers; to 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat' by yours truly; Lily Potter. James seems to think that this particular prologue isn't necessary, but I'll write it anyway. The following steps with teach you; well how to fall in love with an insufferable prat. However, take note that these first set of rules only apply to Year 1 of Hogwarts. Each Year has a different set of rules. Without further ado; how to spend your first year in Hogwarts if you ant to fall, in love with an insufferable part. While that doesn't sound all that nice; trust me it's worth it. Enjoy!_**

**_-Lily Potter_**

**_P.S; Only the bold is mine. The rest is a lovely addition by MY insufferable prat; James Potter, with occasional footnotes(actual footnotes-as in imprints of his foot) by Harry Potter._**

**Step 1:Accidentally**** Enter His Compartment On A Train On A Platform In A Wall**

Lily Evans was a muggle-born ginger with freckles that coloured her petite little face, with a small nose that had been called all variants of the word cute who happened to be magical. Her best-friend was Severus Snape; who was also magical. However, Severus was from a family of witches and wizards(at least , from his mother's side); and therefore- much unlike Lily, knew what he was doing when he ran face-first into the brick wall that separated Platforms 9 and 10 in King's Cross on September 1st. Lily covered her eyes as she braced for her pale friend to slam against the wall, and slowly uncovered them when she didn't hear it. She then jumped back and banged into an old couple when Sev stuck his head out, the rest of him on the other side of the wall and said; "Well come on then. Don't want to miss the Hogwarts Express on your first day there do you?"

Muttering, "Well it's now or never," she pushed her trolley towards the wall; picking up a run and closed her eyes. She wasn't quite sure when she passed through the wall or stopped running but she got through and managed to bump into yet another person, though this time it was a boy her age; with the most beautiful hazel eyes and glasses. "I'm so sorry, I really did't mean to do that," she gestured behind her to the wall, "I was just running though that, and my eyes were closed and I didn't see and-Oh I'm incredibly sorry." He chuckled and waved off the apology; pushing himself off the floor and dusting his clothes. He leant down at the same time Lily did to pick up the fallen books and the two bumped foreheads and he somehow tripped over a book of hers and fell down again. "Jesus, I've done it again. I'm terribly sorry; I really didn't mean-." He stopped her apology by placing a finger on her lips, "It's fine honestly. It's a mistake. Nothing broken see?" He jumped up and down kicking his legs and wiggling his hands and fingers for effect. Satisfied that she was laughing, he grinned ear to ear and helped her get all her books in; before giving her mock salute and disappearing in the throng of parents and children.

She stared after him, a small smile playing on her lips; and was startled out of it by a tap on her shoulder. She jumped and turned around to see Severus looking at her anxiously. "Lily, are you okay? I turned around for a moment and then you just weren't there" His onyx eyes narrowed when he noticed the haphazard way her books were kept and the dust on her clothes, "Are you okay? Did some-one push you down?Tell me, I'll go sort out the prick."

Lily chuckled and waved off her friend's worries, "No; quite the opposite. I bumped into another student by mistake, and he helped me back up. I'm fine Sev." and she turned back around. But Severus didn't miss the small smile that stayed on his best-friend's lips; and he didn't like it one bit.

...

"Who you?" James turned at the sound of the voice to see a scruffy boy who was around his age at the door of the apartment. His black hair, much like James brunette hair; was haphazardly kept and his clothes were droopy over his wiry frame. "Potter; James Potter. And you Mr.I think I'll go for a dog's look?" The latter boy laughed at that and plopped himself down on the opposite seat, " Black. Sirius Black."  
"Pureblood or Muggleborn?"  
Sirius narrowed his eyes, "What's it to you?"  
James shrugged,"Curious. Why, prejudiced family?"  
Sirius rolled his black eyes "Snobbish little idiots; that's what the Black Family i known for." He puffed up his chest mockingly, _"The pureblood are the pride and the very blood of the Wizarding World Sirius Black; and don't you forget it,"_; before slinking back into is seat, "Bloody ridiculous if you ask me."  
James threw his head back laughing, "Whose that? Your grandaunt?"  
Sirius huffed, blowing a few strands of hair out of his eyes, "I wish. It's my mother." James sobered up immediately, "I meant no offence man. I didn't know. You just did it comically."  
Sirius waved it off, "It's okay. I hate the bloody witch."

James just smiled in response and leant his head against the glass, his glasses falling off his nose. He was jerked away as the train jumped a bit and caught a snippet off the animated conversation of the two new arrivals into the compartment.  
_You'd better be in Slytherin."  
_James turned his head around at the outrageous notion. "Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave. wouldn't you?" he turned to Sirius for support. The mangly boy just ducked his head and said, "My whole family have been in Slytherin."  
"Blimey," James said, "and I thought you seemed all right!"  
Sirius grinned. "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"  
James lifted an invisible sword. "_Gryffindor; where dwell the brave at heart! _Like my dad."

The pale boy who had the previous ridiculous comment about how his ginger friend should be in Slytherin scoffed. James turned on him, "Got a problem with that?"  
"No," said the greasy boy in question, "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy.."  
"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" Sirius quipped  
James roared with laughter and Sirius chuckled at the pompous look on the slimy boy's face. The ginger girl whirled around and gave James the most withering look, that even rivalled his mothers. She looked familiar; but he couldn't put his finger on it. She got up and motioned for the other boy to follow.  
"Come on Severus, lets find another apartment."  
"Oooooooo," the two boys chorused as Sirius stuck his leg out to trip the sl-Severus, "See you Snivellous!" James stuck his head and called to the corridor, before collapsing onto the seat; laughing.

It was only after the two boys descended the platform that James got a good look at the ginger; and realized that she was the girl with the cute-button nose who had crashed into him on the platform and then had rambled out apologizes.

* * *

**Step 2: Be his partner for Transfiguration And Potions**

Lily walked through the corridors to the Great Hall and plopped herself next to Alice Prewitt; her room-mate and best-friend in Gryffindor. She craned her neck; looking for Severus, her emerald eyes lighting up when she saw her and waved, before settling down. She had felt incredibly guilty that she had been sorted into Gryffindor when Sev was in Slytherin, but she soon learnt to enjoy herself, After all, she would see him in Potions. Speaking of Potions-,  
"Hey Evans! How's my lovely ginger? She's looking a little peachy isn't she Black?"  
"You are right James. She seems a bit off-weather. Remus, do you thunk you could look into it? You do go to help your mother out every month after all!"

Alice swatted James' hands away, before her childhood friend in a small hug; even obliging Sirius, "Leave the poor girl alone James, you know she doesn't like it." James tipped his head and lifted up a fake hat in mock salute, "Only for you Madame" before sauntering off to eat. Lily audibly sighed when the three, Pettigrew slugging behind disappeared. "Honestly Alice; how do you do it? I just cannot put up with them. And did you hear, the four have made some ridiculous name for themselves, 'The Marauders'.," she rolled her eyes, "'Four Lunatics' is more suitable; or rather, 'Two lunatics, a half decent one and a mongrel'."

Alice just smiled in response, "He grows on you; James does. Once you get to know him, he's honestly the nicest, most loyal person you'll meet. You could've committed murder and he'll still blindly trust you. He really is a sweetheart. And he's probably the most trust-worthy person I know; save for you and Sirius."  
Lily gagged, "What if it's his murder that you've committed?"  
"He'll smile and embrace you, before handing you the murder weapon and calmly sitting down; waiting."  
Lily smiled, "Well that makes things so much easier."  
Alice laughed, "For some-one who claims to hate him; you both are very similar."

Lily gasped and got off the table with a flourish, "Alice Prewitt how dare you insinuate such a thing? I'm very offended. Now, if you'll excuse me; I must go."

...

James and Sirius fell into the dungeons, their arms slung over each others shoulders, and their hair stuck in all places. Professor Mirkwood narrowed his eyes at the two of them, and marched up to the pair; swishing his wand. Oh their own accord, the boys robes straightened out, and their ties were pulled up. Th two stood straight immediately and the Professor smiled.  
"Ten point from Gryffindor for tardiness and I shall place you with partners; unlike the other students who got to choose." He turned around and glanced around the class, "Snape; move to that empty bench at the back. Black, next to Snape; and Potter next to Evans." The four students broke into immediate protests and Mirkwood glared at the four; silencing them immediately. "As I had mentioned to the class; I shall be your Potions master till your OWLS. For that ridiculous noise; you four shall be paired with each other till then. That will teach you to make noise in my class."

Grumbling, James went over to Evans desk; while the ginger studiously ignored him and sent a mournful glance behind him to Sirius, before slamming his bag down and plopping himself down. He watched with amusement as Lily furiously scribbled down everything that Professor Mirkwood rambled on; making footnotes and star notes and diagrams and wrote down the various names of each ingredient; all the while ensuring she didn't smudge the ink. After class; she looked at him and asked him, " Are you quite done looking at me? You've only done it for the entire lesson."  
He smirked and said, "No, one class is hardly enough time to count your freckles; there are simply too much."

Lily flushed a deep crimson at this and left the dungeon without a single word. James chuckled and walked after her, following her for Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. Just to annoy her, he sat down next to her and refused to move; pretending not to hear her many protest s Sirius caught on and sat on the adjoining seat, effectively caging her between the two boys. To make matters worse, Remus and Peter occupied the only two free seats; so Lily had no choice but to sit down next to him. He smirked at her gasp of shock and awe and the black tabby cat morphed into McGonagall, and then scribbled down the meaning of an Animagus; and every other word that McGonagall said. His smirk turned into a full fledged smile when he heard McGonagall's final words, "These partners will be your partners till your OWLS; that way you won't have to adjust every year."

This was becoming something of a routine.

* * *

**Step 3: Get your hair turned a lovely blue for an entire school day(And then turn his hair purple for an entire school week)**

"Evans! How's my favourite ginger?" Lily pulled a beautiful, completely fake smile and lifted her emerald eyes to meet his hazel and said sweetly, "Just splendid. Then you and your little train of followers came along," before going back to her toast, smiling as Alice threw her blonde head back, laughing.  
James gasped and put his hand to his chest, leaning back to Sirius' arms for emphasis, " You wound me my fair maiden. What could I have possibly done to deserve such treatment? Pray tell!"  
Lily spit out her orange juice ungracefully **[_Now that's not true. James is just making that up, don't believe him. He's a bit absent up there, if you catch my drift] _**and coughed. Sirius and Remus roared with laughter, dropping James on the floor; starting off Lily and Alice **[_ Now that actually happened. He was the cutest thing ever then; is glasses all askew and a bit dazed as he didn't expect to be dropped] _**Once Lily has calmed down and James had regained some of his pride; she managed to splutter out, "What you have done? I could write an essay on that Potter."  
James looked thoughtful at that, "All-right then. Do it. Write an entire essay on what I have done to you this school year by the end of this week."

Lily simply raised an eyebrow, "Or what Potter?"  
James smiled devilishly, "You won't like it Evans. I can assure you that much. It'll be one more thing to add to that oh-so long list of what I've done with you."  
Lily stuck out her hand, "Deal."

...

"Alice! Alice!" the blonde stuck her head out of the dormitory and looked at the ginger in confusion, "What is it Lily?" Lily looked a bit mad as she threw around books; "I can't find it!" The blonde walked up to her and made her sit down, "Find what Lily?" Lily lifted her blazing emerald eyes and said, "The essay!The one I wrote on Potter!It's gone!"

Alice's eyes widened, "Merlin! You're in for some real trouble. You've got to give that in," she looked at her watch and back at Lily, "Now."  
As if he had heard them; James came bounding into the Common Room, Sirius in tow. "Well then Evans; lets have it."  
"The one time you don't want the prick to come, he's bloody punctual Figures." Lily mumbled under her breath, before slowly walking up to James, her eyes wide and her biggest grin on. She caught a strand of her hair and started twirling it, looking up at James, "Well, the thing is- it was a stupid deal, right James? Why don't we just forget about it?"

James cocked his head to the side, his brunette hair falling on his eyes and catching onto his glasses, "Why on Earth would you say that? You were so eager to give it to me just a few days ago!"  
"Well that's the thing. I kinda-lost it."  
Sirius roared with laughter, "You-Lily bloody perfect Evans lost it!? Oh this is rich!"  
Even James smirked, and shrugged, "A deal's a deal Evans. I didn't get my essay; so you shall get your payment," and the two walked off, James winking at her.

Alice went up to her downcast friend, "There's no nice way to put this; but you're in big trouble."

...

"Pottttterrrrrrrrrrr! I will murder you I swear!You will regret ever putting those hazel eyes of yours on me till the day you die!"  
Lily stared aghast at her scarlet blue hair; running her fingers through it and she desperately tried to wash it off with shampoo in the shower. By the time she reached the Great Hall, her hair tucked into a beanie, a small smidge sticking out; and her fingers were completely pruned. No-one had bothered to turn her way and question the beanie or the blue tuft of curls until the subject of her torture and his mongrel of companions decided that they would make a spectacle of her.

"Evans!Whatever is the matter? Are you sick? Is that why you're wearing this beanie?"  
Lily gritted her teeth and said, "Yes Potter. That's why I'm wearing the beanie." She even coughed twice for affect. Sirius smirked and bent down, while James stepped back; his hazel eyes gleaming. Sirius' black hair fell on his face and he whispered in her ear, "Lily darling; I invented the fake cough. Do you want to try that one again?" She whipped her head around and glared at Sirius; wanting nothing more than to slap that silly smirk of his of his tiny little face.

Sirius leant back up and stepped back, "She's all yours Potter." James smiled, and in one fluid motion, whipped off Lily's beanie and presented it to Sirius; who pulled it on and then promptly ran out of the Great Hall. "Blue hair suits you Evans, you should keep it," James said with a wink, before following Sirius. The two were closely pursued by Lily, who charmed their hair purple for an entire week.

* * *

**Step 4: Have a screaming match with him where you are forced to admit that he is infact; one of the smartest people in your year**

"You're a real pain in the backside you know that?"  
James tipped his head in mock salute, "I learnt from the best . What would I have done without such a good teacher?"  
That was it. Lily was so mad that she was seeing red. She stalked up to him and raised her hand to slap him on the cheek, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. Their faces were flushed and they were both breathing heavily, "Lilian Evans, you are not always right. Get your head out of your pretty little butt and accept that fact."  
"Oh yeah? What are your reports like Potter? P for participation?"  
"All Os Evans; for Outstanding. "

Lily stepped back and looked at the brunette boy with narrowed eyes, "Who did you copy from?"  
Even Alice gasped in outrage at the idea. Before James could do anything, Remus; of all people stepped in front and stalked over to the ginger, "Lily; take that back. You can accuse Sirius and James of a lot of things, but the two boys are absolutely brilliant. They are easily the smartest in class, they just don't stick up their hand and answer all questions like we do. Take that statement back; I mean it."

Ashamed, Lily tore her gaze away from James and Sirius and said dejectedly, "I'm sorry Potter, Black. I didn't mean that, it was a heat of the moment thing. I'm incredibly sorry. It was a low, incorrect thing for me to say." The two best-friends just nodded and walked away, furious at the very notion of them copying.

* * *

** Step 5: Cry in front of him about your first Year ending; and see the side of him your friend is always going on about**

James looked around at the dormitory that had been his home for the past year. He was going to miss all the last night prank planning with Sirius, while Remus would shake his head in amusement at their antics, but would help anyway. It was in this very dormitory that they had come up with the name 'Marauders', and it was a brilliant year. But; there was always Owl wasn't there? He could definitely write to Remus, it was Sirius that he was worried about. His mother hadn't taken kindly to her son being sorted into Gryffindor; and that showed in the various Howlers to Sirius; and even some addressed to Professor Dumbledore. Those had to be the absolute best. It was quite entertaining to watch Professor McGonagall's face turn all shades of purple at the foul language that had used to call Dumbledore; while Dumbledore just listened to the Howler with a small smile playing on his lips.

He levitated his case and walked out of the dormitory, eager to go to the Great Hall to catch just one last meal, when he heard a faint sobbing sound from the girl dormitory. He walked up the stairs, and looked around to see Lily curled in a ball on her bed; sobs racking out of her. The last food at the Great Hall forgotten; he walked over to her and slowly eased himself onto the bed. She turned as the bed creaked and quickly brushed away her tears, "What do you want Potter? I'd prefer not to go home with spiders up my back or blue hair. "

He flinched at her harsh tone, but refused to leave. "No, I didn't come to pull a prank on you or tease you. I juts heard someone crying and came to see what it was about."  
"Well, you've seen now you can go."  
He shook his head resolutely, "I'm not going till you tell me what happened. Or at least until you feel better," He stretched out his arms, "C'mere Lily."  
She curled up against him and started sobbing again, and he brushed his lanky finger through her ginger curls. He pulled her up until her head was resting on his chest and stroked her back comfortingly as she cried her heart out. The stayed like that for some time, until Lily's sobs subsided and she felt a little better.

She peered up at him with tear-glistened emerald eyes, and he brushed a few curls of her face, before fisting his sweater arm in his hand and wiping away her tears. On an impulse, she leant up and kissed him on the cheek, before whispering a faint "Thank you," and running out of the dormitory.

All through the train journey home, that kiss was all James could think about.

* * *

**So that's chapter one of 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat By Lily Potter'. It's going to be a small story, one chapter for each year-and all epilogue sort of chapter of their life after Hogwarts. Please leave a review of what you thought, I'd really appreciate it ^^**

**-A  
(No I'm not a PLL fan)**


	2. Steps 6-9: Year 2

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter

**_Welcome back to 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat'. In this addition; you shall learn how to spend your second year in Hogwarts in Hogwarts if you wish to fall for an insufferable prat. One again; the bold is me while the text under is inputs from James Potter; my insufferable prat; with occasional help from Sirius Black.  
_**

**_-Lily Potter nee Evans_**

* * *

**Step 6: Become extremely close to his best-friend over 3 de****tentions**

"Mr. Black ! Ms. Evans ! Would you like to tell the class what it is that you and are so furiously discussing; that must take place during Charms class? Honestly, while this is a common occurrence for Mr. Black; and," Professor Flitwick held up a hand, "do not even to deny it Mr. Black, I expected better from you Ms. Evans. As such; I shall deduct 10 points from Gryffindor each, and you both will meet me for detention tomorrow." Spinning around, Professor Flitwick made his way back to the front of the classroom, seemingly oblivious to the heated accusation battle that was happening between 2 of his students.

"This is absolutely brilliant. Until now I had a spotless record with Professor Flitwick, and now is damaged. Honestly, I cannot believe I got stuck with you as my Charms partner."  
Sirius scoffed, " Oh, is poor Evans sad that she got a detention? Cry me a river, it's just a detention. And as for the points that Flit deducted; you probably make up for it in the various points you get when you stick that hands of yours up and answer all posed questions."  
Lily spun around to face the boy, "So now it's a crime to be smart? Honestly, you're impossible."  
"My darling Evans; I did not say it was a crime to be smart. I implied that you are a pretentious, attention seeking suck up."  
My now Lily was fuming, "I'm sorry what? Next time, try and be a little less hard on yourself when describing yourself."  
Sirius gave her a Marauder worthy smirk," I wasn't describing myself. I was describing you."

"Mr. Black ,Ms. Evans- it seems that your Thursday and Friday night just filled up."

...

"Lovely , you're on time. And where is Mr. Black ?" Lily simply shrugged and sat down on one of the seats. After waiting for 10 minutes, Professor Flitwick sighed and made his way over to Lily. "Ms. Evans ; you are to copy down all the records in those books," he gestured to the dusty pile on his deck, " into these books," he gestured to the books on the adjoining table. "Tell Black when he comes."  
Flitwick left the classroom, leaving Lily alone for the nest four hours. Sighing, she picked up one of the books and started copying. Half-way through the first book; she idly realized that she could slip out and no-one would know that she hadn't finished her detention. But she quickly brushed the thought away; she didn't need any more trouble. Also, if she remained in the classroom and if Sirius ever came; she could murder him and get away with it; since even Professor Flitwick would attest to the fact that he bailed on the detention.

"I'm sorry Evans; I truly am. I didn't mean to bail on you, but the stairs switched and I kind of got lost on the third floor; and ran into a three-headed dog who apparently loves music. Then I was taken to the fifth floor and hexed by the most nasty pair of Slytherins and spent fifteen minutes puking my guts out in the bathroom." Lily turned to see Sirius leaning against the door on the classroom; panting heavily. Her previous thoughts of killing him were lost as she saw him bruised and blood dripping him from the side of his mouth. She rushed over to him and helped him shift his weight so that he was now leaning against her, and she helped him to her seat as he hobbled; a slight limp in his left leg. "That's not all that happened is it Black?"

He looked at her sheepishly and said with a shrug, "It took me a few tries to figure out exactly what a three-headed dog likes" Lily shook her head in exasperation and said, "Why don't you try that again? And this time; actually tell me what happened."  
Sirius ducked him head, ashamed and whispered, " Hex me isn't all the Slytherins did."  
Lily gasped as she sat him down and bent down so that she was at his level; inspecting him for damage. "Damn Evans; didn't know you were that desperate to get some of this," he managed to wheeze out, a small smirk playing on his lips. Lily just smiled and shook her head in amusement; but even she could see that he was too tired to do more than that.

On an impulse, she ripped the edges of her robes and bound his bleeding knees, eliciting a small chuckle from the boy as he whispered, "See what I mean? You're even ripping off your clothes." Lily lifted her head to level him with a glare. "Yes," she dead panned, "I yearn for you Black. Take me now."  
"I would Evans; but alas, I'm busy." This got out Lily's first laugh of the evening, her frowns giving way for a gleeful smile.

Once she was sure that he wasn't bleeding anymore, and that he was definitely feeling better, she got up and made her way back to the previously abandoned record and resumed writing it; Sirius sitting next to her and keeping her company **_[read: nagging; Trust me, once that boy starts, it's impossible to get him to stop!] . _**When the clock chimed twelve, the two got up and made their way back to the Gryffindor dorm, Sirius leaning on Lily for support.

Lily gave him a half-hearted wave and was about to go up to the girl's dormitory, when an idea struck her. She called Sirius and the boy stopped mid-way and turned around, "Black, how about I wait for you tomorrow so that we can leave for detention together?"  
He nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. Oh and Evans?"  
"Yeah Black?"  
"Call me Sirius."

...

Lily anxiously waited for Bla-Sirius at the edge of stairs. What if he had thought of last night as a joke and didn't show? What if he had told Potter about it and the two had planned a trick for the night? What if-  
"Hey Evans! I didn't keep you too long did I?"  
She turned at the sound of Sirius' voice and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She waved him off with a flick of her wrist and went over so that he could lean on her. When he refused; she rolled her eyes and walked ahead, not missing the slight winces every two minutes and the slight.  
"Oh come of it Sirius. Just lean on me; it's obvious you need it."  
Not waiting for his reply, she slipped under his right arm and wrapped an arm around his waist; so that there was less weight on his left leg. he smiled down at her gratefully, and she grinned in return. "That's much easier isn't it?" He nodded sheepishly; his pale cheeks colouring slightly. She laughed at the tiny blush; before giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek. The two made their way into the classroom, Lily sitting down and filling in the records; ignoring Sirius' protests that she didn't have to do it all and that he would help. The four hours flew by, but on the way back; Sirius refused any aid, much to Lily's chagrin.

...

"That's absolute bollocks if I've ever heard any. You don't even play the sport Lily!"  
"Last I checked Sirius; neither do you. It's a muggle sport; you couldn't possibly have played it."  
"But I'm telling you, this time in James' house-"  
"Playing it in Potter's backyard doesn't make you an expert!"  
"Well; neither does attending a match!"  
"And he says I speak bollocks," Lily murmured under her breath. "Sirius; I am a Muggleborn. I think I know a bit more about football than you do."  
Sirius sighed, "Fine. You know more"  
Lily crossed her arms across her chest and grinned smugly, " Thank you. Now can we please get back to work?"  
"Well..."  
"Sirius Black!"  
"Okay okay; we can get back to work. Jeez woman, keep your hair on."

* * *

**Step 7: Spend Friday night in the kitchens with him **

James squinted from the couch in the common room, jumping up when he realized that it was Lily. He made her way over to her, grabbing a few of the books that she was holding and holding her bag for her. He set them down on her table and grabbed her wrist, and took her out of the dorm, shushing her and she let out a surprised "Hey!" Keeping one finger on her lips, he reached into his pocket for his invisibility cloak and draped it around both of them.

"Hey! What are you doing? And what on earth is this ridiculous cloak that you've draped over the both of us?" Lily whispered. James just ignored her and led the two of them towards a familiar painting upon which a small pear hung. "Tickle it," he whispered, pointing at the pear. When Lily did nothing, he sighed and said, "Well go on then! Tickle it!"

Looking at him suspiciously; Lily reached up and tickled the pear; stifling her gasp as the painting swung open to reveal the kitchens.  
She looked at him incredulously, "The kitchens?! What in Merlin's name are we doing in the kitchens!?"  
He simply shrugged in return, "You weren't there for dinner. I figured that you'd be hungry; so I brought you here."  
Lily looked at him in wonder, "You stayed up to take me to the kitchens on the whim that I might be hungry because i missed dinner?"  
He nodded and smiled sheepishly. She flung herself at him and hugged him tight; catching the brunette by surprise; before he hesitantly returned the gesture, inhaling her sweet strawberry scent.

...

"Oh My God, this truffle is so good, it just melts in your mouth!" Lily moaned loudly before taking another big scoop and closing her eyes in content. A small smile played on James lips and he leant back; his legs propped up on the table. "Here; try it, I'm not lying, it's magical," Lily put out a spoon for him, and he willingly obliged, his eyebrows shooting up and the full taste burst in his mouth. "See? Isn't it brilliant?" she said, with her mouth full.

Once she had finished her food, James and Lily made their way back to the Gryffindor dorm, and the two stood near each other for a few minutes; neither knowing what to say.  
"Well I had a-"  
"Thank you so much-"  
Both started speaking at the same time;and both stopped at the same time- causing the pair to nervously laugh, breaking the palpable tension. Lily leant up and gave James a hug and said, "Thank you for today James, it was incredibly sweet of you."

* * *

**Step 8: Stop him bullying your best-friend and get into a week-long tiff with him **

"A 3 foot long essay!? What is McGonagall playing at?! And she wants it by Thursday! I swear; the old bat should just retire. Did you know that she was teaching Transfiguration when my mother was in Hogwarts? That's how old the mad hatter is. Honestly; as if we didn't get enough essays from professor Mirkwood; now we have Transfiguration as well!" Alice groaned in frustration and turned to her best-friend with a pout. "It's not even fair, we're not OWL students, why should we get so much homework? The weekend is for books and for Quidditch and for fun! Not for stupid Potions and Transfiguration essays. Don't you agree Lily? Lily? Lils?"  
"Huh? Yeah Alice? You were saying something about the Potions essay?" Alice rolled her eyes and sighed. "Never mind. C'mon, lets go get some dinner."

Lily waved her off, looking for some-one in the mob of students, "Yeah, you-you go on. I'll catch up."  
"All right; I'll save you a seat!" Alice called behind her shoulder; but Lily barely heard it.

...

The ginger pushed her way through the mass of students, and caught one of the moving staircases down to the dungeons. She hugged her arms to herself at the chill in the air and walked up to the Slytherin dorms. She leant against the adjoining wall and waited for Severus to come out. When he didn't turn up, she stopped one of the Fourth Year Slytherins and asked her where Severus was. The girl simply shrugged and said, "He left ages ago, to talk to Professor Mirkwood about something."

Lily walked over to the Potions classroom and stuck her head in. "Professor Mirkwood? Have you seen Severus anywhere? Severus Snape?" The blonde woman raised her head and said, "I can't say I have . Actually, I did see him on the fourth floor, with Potter and Black." Lily was out of the classroom before she could finish her sentence.

...

"Oh look what the cat brought in! It's our old friend Snivellous!" James slung an arm around the boy and brought him in close for a noogie; before yelping and jumping back; wiping his fist on Severus' robes. "Oh, Merlin what is in your hair? It's so...greasy! Do you put gel on every other day or something like that?"  
Severus just shrugged and said, "Anything that keeps your blood-traitor hands of me. I'd even hex it to bit if I could. It's worth anything if you and your little mongrel of idiots leave me -" Severus couldn't finish his sentence as James grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the wall; fist clenched.  
"Do. Not. Insult. Me. Or. My Family. Again."  
Severus wheezed, "So I can insult those idiotic friends of yours? Where's your loyalty? Wait, I forget who I'm speaking to."  
James raised his fist and punched Severus in the stomach, causing the latter boy to double back. He raised his hand again,but a voice stopped him.

"James Potter! Put him down at once!" James stepped back and released him, causing Severus to fall down and crumble on the floor. Lily rushed over to him and helped him up, much like she had done for Sirius. Her emerald eyes were blazing and she gave James the coldest glare that she was capable off.  
"And to think I actually believed that you hand changed this year; and that you weren't the arrogant toe-rag that I thought you were. You are despicable James Potter." And she stalked off; Severus leaning on her for support; missing the downcast look that James now sported, a stark contrast to the smug look that Severus wore.

* * *

**Step 9: Start a food-fight with him and his mates**

Lily Evans was usually a decent well-mannered child. She always did her homework, was polite to the First Years and respected her seniors. She was famously known to frequent the library and there were endless streams of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors who snagged homework from her. She also tutored most First Years in Potions and Charms when she had free time. Her hand was always up to answer questions; and she knew random pieces of trivia. Her group of friends was small; including only Alice, Mary, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, Severus, and on occasion; James. She was known through-out as a book nerd and if she wasn't in her Common Room; she was probably sprawled across the couch in the Common Room or Library, a book in her hand; her fingers holding it's pages.

None of the above explained why she was crouched under the table, whipped cream on her button nose and raspberry jam on her cheeks. She held a plate full of chicken legs and her hand was poised above it; ready to grab one and throw it and someone should anyone come. On her right were three bowls of maple syrup. She watched with bated breath, her emerald eyes flicking right and- SLAM! Lily was momentarily blinded as someone slammed a pie on her face. She placed the plate down and gingerly wiped away the crumble and cream from her eyes, before picking up the maple syrup bowl and crawling out from the table. Sirius was sprawled across the table, clutching his stomach as he roared with laughter. Grinning, she poured the entire bowl of syrup on his hair, causing the pale boy to yelp.

He reached up and ran a hand through his sticky hair; wincing as his hand got tangled. His onyx eyes narrowed as he saw Lily biting on her lip furiously to keep in a chuckle, and he grabbed a whipped cream can, causing the ginger's eyes to widen and back away. He jumped off the table and she turned away and ran for the Ravenclaw table; Sirius close behind her. She rounded on the Ravenclaw table and headed for the Slytherin Table; when an arm snagged her waist and pulled her into a corner. Her yelp in surprise was muffled by a hand covering her mouth and she turned to see James with a finger on his lips. She nodded and slowly moulded into him; her eyes shifting right and left for Sirius.

It was quite funny actually, that the two people who started the food-fight were the ones huddled in a corner waiting it out while the rest of the school continued it.

_"Don't you dare Potter. If even one speck of that jam as much as-"  
Lily closed her eyes and let out a deep breath as James smeared raspberry jam over her cheeks.  
"Look Evans! You've got a blush! Is it because you're around me?" James said with a chuckle.  
Lily grabbed a handful of spaghetti and threw it at James. He grabbed a goblet of pumpkin juice and chucked it at her, but she ducked and it hit Marlene. James' hazel eyes widened with fear and he ran across the hall; yelling apologies behind him as Marlene chased him with a cake slice. She threw it at him with a yell, but she missed and it fell on Narcissa; who chucked a cupcake in response, which found it's way over to a 5th year in Hufflepuff.  
_

_..._

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter; I hope you realize the severity of your actions today. Not only have you created utter chaos in the Great Hall, you have also mindlessly wasted food. You are lucky that Professor Dumbledore found it funny. If it was up to me; you punishment would be much more severe. The pair of you shall spend the next 3 Friday nights in the trophy room. Ms. McKinnon, Mr. Black, you both shall spend your Friday nights with Hagrid. Is that understood?"  
The four students had their eyes trained to the ground and they said in unison, "Yes Professor McGonagall."  
Professor McGonagall lifted her chin and nodded. "You are dismissed."

No sooner were they out of ear-shot; Sirius and James broke out into a chorus of exclaims; "Man that was wicked!"  
"The best ever!"  
"James, you're a bloody genius! Best dinner ever!"  
"Will the pair of you shut up? This is your 10th detention in the year! Doesn't that affect you in any way?" That was Lily.  
The boys looked at her incredulously, "Affect us? Well of course it does! Just imagine the stories we'll tell!" That was Sirius.  
"Let's go; before these idiots rope us into another one of their schemes." That was Marlene. She grabbed Lily by the arm and pulled her towards the Gryffindor dorm, James and Sirius' laughs following them.

* * *

**Sorry about the incredibly late update; but this chapter decided that it didn't want to be written. Anyway; hope you like it, and if anyone has ideas for the next steps-leave them in the reviews and I'll try to use them. I'm trying to incorporate all headcanons there are; so if you catch any of those on Tumblr; add them in your review as well. Basically; REVIEW!**

**-A  
(Not a PLL Fan)**


	3. Steps 10-12: Year 3

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter

**_And here is the third edition of 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat'. Sirius has graciously once again offered his services(something he will never let me forget; the pig-headed idiot) and Harry seems to enjoy leaving his footprints all over the manuscript, which James has absolutely forbidden me from touching. It is apparently _****_an honour to have your one-month old son stamp all over your manuscript; go figure. The bold is me and the text underneath is James. Enjoy ^^._**

**_-Lily Potter nee Evans  
_**

* * *

**Step 10: Receive a gift from him on your 13th birthday**

Lilian Evans had very few guilty pleasures in her life. Chocolate topped that list, followed closely by books; though she could never understand for the life of her how those two were 'guilty pleasures'. Chocolates being guilty was a foreign concept to her, one that she had tried and failed(miserably) to solve. Her third and last guilty pleasure; was presents. Lily seemed to find a reason to expect a gift for everything; from; "It's a clear sky Monday; we should celebrate this. Marlene, get me a gift!" all the way to birthday gifts. Birthday gifts were her favourite. From when she was a little girl, her parents had spoilt her pretty with gifts, creating a pseudo trail for her that she would follow to her 'treasure; which would be the stack of presents. Since her birthday fell during the school year; she'd taken to sending an owl to her parents on her birthday so that they could send her the gifts. There was no other reason behind it. She refused to not receive her presents. Presents were the one thing people got right.

She usually got books from her parents, and a scruffily written card from her sister; but her heart still swelled up at the small messages within her books. Marlene, Mary and Alice knew better than to disturb Lily after her birthday; for precisely 15 days; in which she would bury her nose inside these books and finish them much like one would finish a TV Series that they loved on the weekends; all in one sitting, with the occasional break for class. Remus and Sirius had taken to alternately bring her food as she wouldn't watch the time and Alice and Marlene would keep notes aside for her as this was the only time when Lily wouldn't have taken notes herself; and would've completely spaced out. Mary would always find a way to be near her during these 15 days as Lily was accustomed to pull all-nighters and fall asleep during class. Most of these days, Alice would slip a sleeping pill inside the pumpkin juice that Sirius would bring in the morning, and Lily would sleep through the day, while the latter 5 would work out excuses as to why the Gryffindor star wasn't present. Lily still hadn't picked up on this, and Sirius and Alice prayed to Merlin she never would. Every single Gryffindor, and quite a few Ravenclaw and Slytherin (courtesy Severus) knew that it was a death toll to disturb Lilian Evans during these 15 days, with the brilliant exception of one James Potter.

...

James hadn't a clue what to get Evans for her birthday, but he knew it had to be better than what Snivellous was giving her. He refused to be up-staged by that greasy pitiful excuse of a person; not after what he had said about his parents last year. His parents weren't blood traitors. Blood traitors don't almost die saving their neighbours from Death Eaters. So, James found himself spending his Sunday sneaking out to Hogsmeade to find a ginger haired girl a gift. He shrugged on his cloak and tiptoed out of the dorms, before making his way over to the One-Eyed Witch; before crawling out of the Honeydukes cellar. He gave a half-wave to Mr and Mrs. Flume; the latter of whom chuckled and shook her head in amusement.  
"What'll it be today Master Potter? Or are you just skipping class?"  
The brunette shook his head and said, "I have a birthday gift to buy. You wouldn't know what to buy a ginger with green eyes who loves books and chocolate would you ?"  
"Has chocolate or a book perhaps crossed your mind Master Potter?" That was Mr. Flume.  
"No I can't say it has," James dead panned, eliciting a chuckle from the older man, "Of course I've thought of that Mr. Flume. But it has to be something special; chocolate is too mundane and her parents send in more than enough books. "  
Mr. and Mrs. Flume shared a look, "What about a emerald necklace; or bracelet Master Potter?"  
James' hazel eyes lit up, "That would be perfect! Would you know where I'd get one?"  
Mrs. Flume grimaced at that, "I'm sorry darling; but the only shop that sells that sort of stuff is closed. Tell you what, come back over next Sunday and Ambrosius and I will keep a few pieces ready for you. "

James went over and gave the woman a tight hug, "That would be brilliant Mrs. Flume, than you so much!"  
and he went back under the cellar. Mr. Flume watched after him and said to his wife, "The poor boy's head over heels for her. You wouldn't happen to know which of them it is would you darling?"  
"I believe it's that Evans girl. Lord knows he talks Master Black's second ear of about that girl."

...

As it turned out, that particular Sunday fell during the designated 'Don't go anywhere near Evans' fifteen days. Of course, being the oblivious twat he was; James didn't know about this, and thought himself quite smart to have planned for a good gift that he could surprise her with.  
**_(Just to be clear; I sincerely regret everything that follows, but he should've really know better than to come between me and my books, even if it's for another gift. Read above; gifts come AFTER books) ._**

James chose a silver chained necklace with a small emerald pendant that was shaped like a tear-drop; along with matching earrings. The gift was incredibly expensive and James fell into Mrs. Flume's arms when he saw it. Even though he was only 13; he was at least an inch over the old woman and she had to reach up to ruffle his hair. She fixed his glasses for him, wiping them once so that he could see properly, before pulling him in for another hug and sending him on his way. She leant into Mr. Flume as the pair watched the young brunette disappear under the cloak and whispered to her husband, "He's like my little son. I hope that all turns out well for him. We did good on that gift didn't we Ambrosius?"  
Mr. Flume placed a kiss on her temple and nodded, "We did good darling."

...

James made his way back to the Gryffindor dorms and looked for Lily all over the Common Room. He saw her huddled up near the fire and his hazel eyes lit up and he sighed in relief. He began to walk over to her, but was stopped by Remus.  
"Mate,you do not want to go over there."  
James looked at him curiously, "Why ever not?"  
"She's reading a book James."  
"I'm not blind Remus; just half blind. I can see that she's reading a book."  
"You don't get it; she's reading a book James. You really don't want to go there."  
James just shook his head and pushed past Remus.  
Remus just looked at him mournfully "It's your funeral buddy."

James bent down and looked at Lily, waiting for her to realize that he was there. 5 minutes pasted and apart from turning her page, she didn't look up once. James reached over and tapped her on the shoulder, and bent down and a fist came dangerously close to his nose. Blinking twice, he tapped her again, causing Lily to jam her elbow in his waist; making the brunette cry in pain. Holding his hip, James tried once again, though this time he called out, "Evans?" .  
The ginger sighed in exasperation, "Oh for God's sake; _Petrificus Totalus!" _James was crouched down, frozen as Lily blew a stray curl from her face. The curl just fell back down and she put down the book to curl in back into her braid. She looked up to see James crouched in front of her; hand flew to her mouth in shock and she fumbled around for her wand, before whispering _"Finite."_

James relaxed immediately and then promptly grabbed Lily's hands and wand. When she looked at him confused and a tad bit angry he said, "This is so that I don't end up in the Hospital Wing". Her face grew red at the statement, and she trained her emerald eyes on the floor. With his free hand, he reached for the necklace box and gave it; or rather placed it on Lily's lap. Still clutching her wand, he hesitantly let go of her hands and walked backwards slowly. When he was sure he was at a safe distance, he levitated the wand back to her and promptly ran to the Quidditch pitch; not stopping till he got his broom and was in the night sky.

...

Lily blinked once, twice, thrice and then furiously rubbed her eyes. She then proceeded to murmur the countless prank revealing spells she had taught herself so that she wouldn't be a victim to one of the Marauders' pranks; despite the fact that she was close to both Sirius and Remus. Once she had finally decided for herself that the necklace and the earrings were in fact real and not a prank, she went on to check whether it was indeed emerald; which it in fact was. Once Lily was absolutely certain of all these facts; she allowed herself to scream, and scream and scream- until Marlene and Alice came tumbling into the girls' dorms; frantically looking for the ginger. Her screams made her relatively easy to find, the makeshift charmed pseudo invisible fort did not.

The two stumbled upon the fort and burst in panting, closely followed by Mary and the three promptly volleyed questions at the girl.  
"What happened Lils?" That was Marlene.  
"Honey; are you all right?" That was Alice.  
"You look like you've seen a ghost" That was Mary.  
"What is that bloody oaf James again? Did he charm your books to bite you again _**(that is a story for another time) **_?" That was Marlene again.

Her voice raspy from aforementioned screaming, Lily just shook her head and pointed to the necklace and earring set that lay on the floor.  
The girls followed her finger and looked back at her in confusion. "It's jewellery Lil; what's the problem?"  
"It's from James, Alice"  
Marlene's eyes widened and she asked, "Has he charmed that?"  
Lily just shook her head. Mary looked at the ginger worriedly and asked, "Darling; if there's nothing wrong with it, why were you screaming the place down?"  
Lily finally turned her head and looked at the three girls. "Don't you see? Potter bought me jewellery. And not just any jewellery. An emerald necklace and earring set that cost God only knows how much. And it matches the colour of my eyes _perfectly. _"

Marlene gasped; Mary's hand flew to her mouth, and Alice let out a long sigh, before hugging Lily.

* * *

**Step 11: Pseudo chaperone a detention awarded to him and his best friend**

"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter; something you'd like to share with the class?"  
Both boys slowly emerged from under their Divination table, their fingers resting on the edge of the table, only their eyes visible.  
"Yes Professor Trelawney? You called us?" That was Sirius.  
"Is there any way that we could assist you in reading the tea leaves?" That was James.  
"Ow! Why'd you hit me on the head Sirius?" That was James again.  
" Professor Trelawney is the great-granddaughter of Trelawney. She doesn't need help reading tea-leaves you git." That was Sirius.  
James rubbed the back of his head mournfully, "My apologizes Professor. I didn't mean to doubt your _tea leave reading skills._"  
Professor Trelawney smiled and said in her wistful voice, "Thank you for the compliment Mr. Black; but it isn't getting you and Potter out of detention."

The entire class roared with laughter as both boys let out groans,, before going out into a full blown blame war that somehow ended up with James giving Sirius a noogie. Sirius elbowed him in the stomach and the lanky boy doubled back, pulled down the scruffy boy with him. The two toppled onto the floor and rolled down to the foot of the class, clutching each others arms and necks; before releasing one another and chuckling. Sirius was the first up; and he extended a hand to James, which the boy gladly took; heaving himself up and fixing his askew glasses; before attending to his and Sirius' robes. Sirius reached up and ruffled James hair; which made the taller boy groan and say, " You know my hair's a bird nest. Must you mess it any more?"  
Sirius answered by meshing it up with both his hands and then running; followed closely by James, both boys seemingly oblivious to Professor Trelawney and their recently awarded detention. 'The two boys were truly like brothers, ' Lily thought to herself, a small smile playing on her lips as she watched the two boys fight. James caught her eyes and she quickly schooled her features into a scowl; but James caught the smile and winked anyway.

...

"Ms. Evans? Ms. Evans!" Lil spun around at the sound of her voice to meet a panting Professor Trelawney.  
"Yes Professor?"  
"Oh thank Merlin I caught up with you. Do you have another say; two hours to spare?"  
"Um, I don't think I'm busy. Why?"  
"Oh good. You must come with me at once. Well come on then!"  
Bewildered, a very confused Lily followed Professor Trelawney up the North Tower to the seventh floor, a sense of dread filling her.  
"Professor Trelawney, I'm not in trouble am I?"  
"Of course not dear. I just need some ...help."  
"What sort of help Professor?"  
"The sort that might get you extra credit."  
Satisfied, Lily dutifully followed her up. Trelawney opened the door with a flourish, revealing two dazed boys who seemed to have been woken up by the door. "Evans, you are to stay here and watch your peers through the rest of their detention."  
Lily's emerald eyes widened in the same fashion the two boys' did. They all jumped with excuses and exclaims at once;  
"But Prof; she's our classmate! That's hardly fair" That was James.  
"That's bloody ridiculous. She's not a Prefect!" That was Sirius.  
"I forgot, I have some work in the libra-" That was Lily.  
Trelawney shushed them all with a glare and the three stared at the floor.  
"Any objections? Good. I shall be back in another two hours."

Once Trelawney left, Lily flopped against the table adjourning the boys and sighed. "Well this is disappointing."  
Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Well aren't you the life of the party Lils?"

* * *

**Step 12: Figure out that his other best-friend is a werewolf**

"Potter? Where is Lupin?"  
James looked up from his essa- doodle of the Snitch to see McGonagall giving him a pointed look. His hazel eyes quickly scanned the room for Sirius' obsidian ones; finding them quickly.  
"Professor! Professor McGonggie!" McGonagall huffed and spun around, "Yes Black?"  
"Could you please come here for a second?"  
"I am quite literally an arm's span away from you. Must I come over there?"  
Sirius pouted and put on his puppy dog eyes, "Yess pleaseee?"  
McGonagall rolled here green eyes, but James and Sirius both saw the twinkle of amusement in her pointed glare, and grinned goofily. Flicking James for good measure (that was the second time that month), she went over to Sirius and bent down low. He whispered something in her ear and she straightened immediately.  
"Mr. Potter; Mr. Black, you are too meet me after class regarding a personal matter."  
"Yes Professor," the pair cried in unision; before cackling, eliciting a eye roll from not only McGonagall; but Lily and Marlene as well.

...

"Is this another one of your pranks Black? Are you simply creating an inventive excuse while Lupin goes about preparing one of your multitude of pranks?"  
Sirius was genuinely offended by the statement, "Professor I am a lot of things, a blatant liar of such case that may endanger the life of my best-friend; or any act that may do the same is not one of them. If you wish to question my integrity as a friend, I shall walk out of this classroom and never step foot in it again; OWLs and NEWTS be damned. And with all due respect Professor, that is not an empty threat. If you wish, you may question both James and Professor Dumbledore on the matter. As me and James are aware, Professor Dumbledore had the Shrieking Shack built for this reason. "

A weary McGonagall turned to James, "Is what Mr. Black just told me true Potter?"  
"Upon my family's honour and my place as Seeker in the Quidditch team, it is Professor."  
"Very well; I shall see how to conceal this from the other professors. You are dismissed."  
"Thank you Professor."  
"Oh, and Black?"  
Sirius, who was holding the door for James turned around and said, "Yes Professor?"  
McGonagall gave him a mall smile and said, "You're a true Gryffindor child. The loyalty you show to your friends as a mere third year is by far the most admirable yet. The four of you are good for each other."

Then Sirius did something that James knew he would do and that left McGonagall gobsmacked; he ran and hugged McGonagall; blinking back tears. Then he moved back, and bowed with a flourish; tilting is head up to wink; "Thank you Professor."  
When he reached the door, he called behind him, "Bye Professor McGonggie!"  
She shook her head in amusement. Some things never change.

...

Remus Lupin was a werewolf. Lily sat down on her pile of books and calendars; her face unusually pale. A freaking werewolf. After months and months of pouring over Potions books and scrounging through Ancient Disease books to in order to find some way to help her friend so that he wouldn't miss so much school; she'd never considered this. A god-damned werewolf. It was so obvious that she felt like laughing. Of course he was a werewolf; this is Hogwarts, not St. Anne's Public School. And he was sick every month during the full moon; he had wolfsbane in his pockets all the time and he drank that disgusting potion that Professor Dumbledore had sent to the Gryffindor dorms every month just before a full moon. How could she have been so stupid?

"Uh; Evans? Are you okay?"  
Lily linked out of her reverie to see Potter crouched in front of her, concerned.  
"He's a bloody werewolf," she whispered, her voice raspy, "He's a bloody werewolf and I didn't even realize."  
In front of her, James stiffened and he asked in a stiff tone, "Who's a werewolf Evans?"  
"She looked up at meet him dead in the eye and whispered, " Remus. He's a freaking werewolf and I didn't even realize. All this time, I searched and searched for some type of medicine to help him; and all this bloody time, he was a werewolf."  
James grabbed her face suddenly and said in the most serious voice she had ever heard, "You. Cannot. Tell. Anyone. Evans, promise me you won't tell anyone," he shook her head, "Promise me!"  
"I- I promise."  
James visibly relaxed and he gave her a kiss on the cheek, which made them burn red, "Thank you Evans," he said, before running into the boy's dorms.

And much like all kisses and hugs shared by the pair; it was never mentioned again.

* * *

**I finalllyyyy wrote this down; which legit took forever. Anyway, this one is for Hamiidris, whose amazing Clace story has me crying and laughing and has all sorts of emotions running through me. Hope you like the chapter ^^. Review?  
-A**

**(Not a PLL Fan)**


	4. Steps 13-16: Year 4

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter

**_Welcome to the fourth edition of 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat'. James has asked me to tell y'all that we are only highlighting the few bearable moments of our rocky relationship in Hogwarts and that all our fights shan't be gone into detail with; after all..we are trying to teach you to love a prat, not want to break his jaw(though I assure you, that feeling is completely normal). I apologize if some of it is illegible; Sirius decided it would be a fine prank to teach Harry to step on the ink before walking over the manuscript(stupid git; Mar hit him on the head hard for that one). Anyway; enjoy ^^  
-Lily Potter nee Evans_**

* * *

**Step 13: Catch him smoking; Or trying to at any rate**

Both James and Sirius were both proud members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team; playing interchangeable roles of Chaser and Seeker; as they excelled in both. Ever since Year 2; the pair had switched between themselves every two games. While both McGonagall and Shetty(Gryffindor Captain in their second year;) were originally against it; both believing that it would mess up the team's chance of winning, as it usually with the duo; everything turned out fine. Marlene was kept as a Chaser substitute; in case one of them fell ill or injured themselves; and Madame Hooch allowed that should one injure himself during a match, the other may replace him- and Marlene would be allowed to step in if necessary; an exception she had only made for these boys (After all; she hadn't seen such good flying since her school days).

The most recent one of these inter-changeable incidents was during the just won Slytherin/Gryffindor match. Sirius was playing Seeker this match; against Regulus; and the two were neck-to-neck when Sirius was hit by a Bludger sent his way by Crabbe. Regulus; being his first match as Seeker, veered away from it and the back of his broom hit Sirius square on the head. Sirius fell off the broom unconscious; and James served in and caught him on the back of his broom. James whistled for Marlene to join the game and replaced Sirius as Seeker; quickly placing Sirius onto the Hospital Wing stretcher before grabbing his goggles and soaring up.

Marlene and Shetty( the younger Shetty) made quick work of scoring another 60 points..while Frank(Longbottom that is) and Patel sent Bludgers towards the Slytherin Chasers. Shetty hollered above him to James that he could catch the Snitch and he took a sharp hair-pin turn and caught it deftly with his left hand. Not bothering to wait around for the cheers and congratulations; James flew to the Hospital Wing and crashed through the window; earning a stern glare from Madame Pomfrey. Muttering a quick 'Reparo' behind him; James ignored the woman and strode over to Sirius' bed. And he sat there; not leaving for classes. Madame Pomfrey couldn't find it in her to make the brunette leave his friend's side; the only exception she had made till now.

...

Both Lily and Remus visited regularly; Lily bringing the boys' school work and dutifully reciting the lessons of the day to an unconscious Sirius and a barely conscious James- while Remus brought James his meals. After a few days; Marlene came with Remus and force-fed her family friend the food; quietly reprimanding him for not eating. McGonagall also visited, placing her hand on Sirius' cheek and brushing his hair out of his eyes; and then going over and placing a chaste kiss of James' forehead; causing the brunette to look up and lean into the older woman's embrace. It seemed that many teachers were pulling strings and creating exceptions for the school's beloved duo.

It was on one such night when Remus and Marlene went with food that they didn't find James in his customary place on the edge of Sirius' bed. They did however find a conscious, albeit groggy Sirius complaining about no-one being around his bed. Completely forgetting their feud; Marlene ran up to him and hugged the surprised boy tight, who took a moment before burying his head in Marlene's shoulder. Then she hit him on the shoulder for scaring them like that and asked if he had seen James; to which he replied, "No- haven't seen the git since woke up. You'd think he's be here waiting; but he wasn't. If it wasn't for Poppy here-"  
"That's Madame Pomfrey for you Black!"  
Sirius chuckled and continued, "If it wasn't for _Madame Pomfrey _telling me that he had spent the last two weeks not moving; so much so that Mar here had to feed him food- can't believe I missed that by the way- I would've hit the git. Do you know here he is?"  
"Yes Black. We know where he is. That's why we're asking you," Remus dead-panned.  
"Oh I forgot that. What about Lils? Where's my favourite ginger?"

...

If anyone looked for either James or Lily; they would be hard to find- but once you found one; you needn't look for the other. You see; according to James, Sirius was still unconscious and he was looking for a kid to take out his anger on. Finding none; he made his way up to the Astronomy Tower and went to one of his favourite haunts; a little secluded part of the Astronomy Tower that he had found in his Second Year. He fished out the pack of cigarettes that Sirius and him had bought earlier from a Muggle store to try them; and took a long drag- before spluttering the smoke out and scrunching his eyebrows at the thing. He tapped it and watched with bitter fascination at how the wind picked up the ashes and took it away. Holding the cigarette between his lips; he leant out, his elbows resting on the banister, looking up at he stars.

"That's not how you take a drag. You're supposed to blow it out softly, taking small breaths at a time. You can only take a long drag half- way through a cigarette; otherwise there's too much nicotine for you to not splutter."  
James jumped to see a familiar ginger on his left, "Jesus Evans you scared me. What are you doing here?"  
She shrugged, "This is where I come when I want some peace and quiet. I wasn't aware other people knew of it."  
"Don't worry. It's just me and you so far. I would know."  
"What are doing with a cigarette?"  
"Isn't it supposed to help you forget stuff?" James said bitterly  
"That's drugs and booze Potter."  
"And how does 'perfect Evans' know this?"  
She shrugged and laughed dryly, "My darling sister's boyfriend is 21. It teaches you stuff."  
"I take it you don't like your sister?" James asked; putting a hand on her shoulder.  
"Don't like her? Oh no..I love Tuney. It just doesn't flow the other way," tears sprang in her eyes and James bent down and brushed them away; before opening up his arms and whispering, "C'mere Evans."  
The stayed like that for a few minutes; just taking in the view, before James placed a kiss on her temple and left, "I have to check up on Padfoot."  
Lily turned to him and raised an eyebrow, "Padfoot?"  
James just chuckled and shook his head, "Nothing. I'll see you later Evans," he raised his hand in a half wave; which she reciprocated; before ducking under and disappearing. He watched him until his mess of brunette hair was out of sight; before turning back to the view; taking a deep breath of the cold air and smiling softly.

* * *

**Step 14: Unintentionally help him create a magical map that plots the entire school**

_"A wema way A wema way A wema way A wema way..."_  
"Padfoot...no."  
_"In the castle..."_  
"Not you too Prongs!"  
_"The magic castle..."  
"_NOOOO!"  
_"The werewolf sleeps tonighttttttttt!"  
_"I came to the Common Room to ditch y'all. Honestly; Can a man not get some sleep over here?"  
"Aw...don't be so depressing Moons! You know you love it."  
_***SMACK***_  
"Ouch! That hurt!" Sirius rubbed the back of his head gingerly.  
"It was supposed too you git. Now let me sleep," Remus turned away and pulled the pillow over his head; trying to drown out James and Sirius' ridiculous singing.

"Party pooper," Sirius muttered as Remus' breathing evened out, "Do you supposed I can _Augementi _him and he won't be too upset Prongsie?"  
"As long as I can get very very far away before you start. He's left a bump on your head Paddy."  
"That hurt you know? Our Moons has got a strong arm he has."  
"Can't say I'm surprised; however I think it hurts because of that blow you took from Blackette's broom."  
"That's my brother you're talking about Prongs."  
"Doesn't make him any less off a git. And what am I then? Long lost relative?"  
"Nah...you're closer to me than that."  
"Aw...so sweet," James wrapped his arms around the boy.  
"Oi..get off..Prongs get off! People will think we're gay or something!"  
"With our reputation? 'Fraid not Pad."  
"You've got a point there."  
"Of course I have. I'm James Potter; I'm always right."  
"And modest too," Sirius rolled his eyes.  
James scoffed, "Modesty is a trait for the ugly Padfoot. It'll do you good to learn that rule," he winked and sauntered off; pausing only to place a chaste kiss on one of the sixth year's palm. Sirius just rolled his eyes and followed the brunette; chuckling at his antics.

...

"Lils! Lily Lily Lily Lily Lily!" Sirius ran after the ginger, catching her as she turned the corner. He placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, causing her jump and brandish a wand; only lowering it when she saw who it was. "Jesus Sirius; you scared the bloody hell out of me!"  
Sirius winked and said, "Ooh; ginger's got a mouth on her!"  
Lily hit him on the shoulder and asked, "What do you want Sirius?"  
"Well...uh...I was wondering; how would you cast a spell that hid something when certain words recited?"  
"For that; you'd need to cast a selective cloaking spell; but that's NEWT level charms; why are you interested in that?"  
"Just curious Lils. As the Muggle say, _'Taking a leaf out of your book' _ and preparing ahead and all that."  
Lily chuckled and shook her head in amusement, "It's _'Taking a page out of your book' _and _'Turning a new leaf' _you idiot."  
Sirius ducked his head; shamefaced, "My mistake. See? This is why I didn't take Muggle Studies. Bloody useless at all that."  
"Was there anything else Sirius?"  
"Nothing else Lils. Thanks a ton!"

And he raced off; just as quickly as he came.

* * *

**Step 15: Figure Out His Addiction To Orange Juice**

From Years 4 through 7; they had Professor Slughorn as their Potions teacher. While Sirius lamented from everything from the ghosts to the walls about how he missed Professor Mirkwood and 'her luscious black hair; beautiful slender fingers; and steely blue eyes' James used the opportunity of Slughorn have no knowledge of his skill in Potions to get him seated next to Slughorn's pet project; Lily; much to the latter's chagrin, as she was hoping that no Professor Mirkwood meant the 'partners till OWLS' sentence was lifted. As she was in most subjects(save for Transfiguration); Lily was absolutely brilliant at Potions, and as such- Slughorn deemed it fit to place his 'worst student'; James next to his 'élève extraordinaire'; Lily much to the latter's chagrin.

Of course; she knew that it was absolute bollocks; but even her word couldn't convince Professor Slughorn; especially after one of James' potions blew up in Slughorn's face and burnt off his eyebrows. His exact words were, "Mr. Potter could get knighted by the Queen Of England for his skill in Potions Ms. Evans; and I will still not concede that he is capable of brewing one without your help. Think of it as extra credit. I might even let you join the Slug Club early," he winked and moved over to the next table. James looked behind him and then whispered to Lily, "The Slug what now?"  
Lily rolled her eyes and buried her face inside her palms. It was going to be a long year.

...

"This here is-"  
"Amortentia Professor. It's a love potion of sorts; that when smelt, gives you the fragrance of the things you love."  
"Very good Ms. Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor! Why don't you come and give it a sniff?"  
Lily made her way over to Slughorn's table and took a huge whiff. She smelt tea, fresh books, the fresh green grass of a Quidditch Field, Cinnamon and Oranges.  
"Well Ms. Evans?"  
"I smell...I'd rather not say Professor."  
Slughorn chuckled, "Not a problem Ms. Evans. Please, take your seat again."

...

"Potter what on Earth are you drinking? You're in class!"  
James quickly ducked under the table and hid the bottle inside his robes; before emerging again and shushing Lily.  
"Keep it down would you Evans? Don't want the whole world knowing do you?"  
"But what are you- Mmph!" James placed his palm over Lily's mouth, "Shut it Evans; Merlin!"  
He bent down and whispered in her ear, "It's just Orange Juice."  
She removed his hand and whisper-shouted, "My foot it's just Orange Juice. You've got Firewhisky in that haven't you?"  
"I have not! Here drink and check if you want," he handed her the flask.  
"I am not going to drink your bloody- Mmph!" Rolling his eyes; James poured the juice inside her mouth, shutting her up immediately.  
"Well colour me Red-"  
"Already been done darling;"  
"-It is Orange Juice. Why are you carrying Orange Juice in a flask?"  
James looked down at the floor and mumbled, "I'maddictedtoOrangeJuice.."  
"I'm sorry; what was that Potter?"  
"addictedtothestuff..."  
"Wha- For the love of God can you please speak properly Potter?"  
"I'm addicted to Orange Juice. There; happy?"  
Lily had to bite her lip to keep in the laughter, " You're addicted- what? James Potter is addicted to Orange Juice?"  
"Yes now would you keep it down!?"  
Lily placed a finger on her lip, "Yes Sir."

But she still burst out laughing the minute they exited the dungeon.

* * *

**Step 16: He asks you out**

"You're going to what?! Prongs..I know that you fancy her; but she hates you!"  
"Prongs...I love you and all; but no. James; you've fancied her since our First Year there's no way you can take that rejection."  
"Why are you two so damn sure she'll reject me?"  
"Because she's Lily Evans!The woman barely tolerates you!" Remus and Sirius chorused.  
"But; _never try; never know _right? I don't just fancy her Moony...I think...I think I'm falling in love with her."  
Sirius draped an arm around the brunette and mussed his hair, "I can't watch you get rejected Prongs. I'm sorry; but I just can't. I love you like a brother you know that, but I'm not with you on this.  
James turned his hazel eyes to Remus, "I'm sorry Prongs; but I'm with Padfoot on this. She will reject you; and it will hurt, and Sirius, Mar and I will left to pick up the pieces."  
James sighed and siad, "But I've not to try. She's warmed to me a little; I can't just not ask her out, not when Snivellous is hanging off her like the mongrel he is."

"Good luck Prongsie. You're going to need it."

...

"Hey Lily! Lils! Wait up!"  
Lily turned to face a rather nervous James Potter. She crossed her arms across her chest and cocked her head to the side; an eyebrow raised. He rubbed the back off his neck and he smiled sheepishly and said, "Go out with me?"  
"What?! Absolutely not Potter! Sod off!" And she turned around and stalked off. He ran after her and turned tail; walking backwards, "C'mon just one date to Hogsmeade. I promise I'll be nice," he pouted and she rolled her eyes; ignoring him.  
"Oh c'mon Lily; don't tell me you don't want a date with all this?"

Lily spun around to face him and said, "No Potter I do not want 'a date with all that'. You know why? Because 'all that' is a conceited ass who is the self-proclaimed Casanova of Hogwarts; leaves broken hearts wherever he goes; bullies First Years; throws ridiculously loud parties every other night; is an arrogant toe-rag; constantly picks on my best friend and still has the nerve to pester me for a date. So no; excuse me for not wanting a date with' all that'. Now; if you'd be as kind as to step aside; I have somewhere to be," and she stalked off, not bothering to wait for a reply; completely missing the heart-broken expression on James' face.

...

"Me. You. Date. Hogsmeade. Tomorrow."  
"No."

...

Lily had an owl. Curious, she opened the parchment, which was a moving caricature of James and her walking through Hogsmeade; captioned, _"Make this a reality?" _  
She made a good show of burning it.

...

Lily woke up to the dorms decorated pink and filled with tulips, her favourite; and hovering above her the words, "Hogsmeade Evans?" She just groaned and turned back to go to sleep; pulling a pillow over her head to cut out the romantic music.

...

"Evans! I love thee like Romeo lovith his Juliet! Hogmeade?"  
"Ugh! Potter; drop it!"

...

"Evans c'mon it's the last Hogsmeade trip!"  
"That's why I want to enjoy it. Bye Potter."

* * *

**Review? Plzzzzz?  
-A  
(Not a PLL Fan)**


	5. Steps 17-19: Year 5

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter  


_**And here is the fifth edition of 'How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat'. I do hope that this manuscript helps you find the sort of love I have found in James; otherwise it's sort of defeated it's purpose. I have been asked to inform you (by Padfoot no less) that there shall only be three more editions before I wrap up the manuscript; so make the most of them! Enjoy ^^  
-Lily Potter nee Evans**_

* * *

**Step 17: A dog frequents your- well all your classes; until it doesn't**

For the first time; well EVER; Lily didn't want to board the Hogwarts Express. She simply did not want to attend her OWLs; never mind the fact that she fried Severus' brains out making him study with her and she was always owling Remus and pestering his with questions; but boarding the train some-how made it official. She stood stock still as millions of parents and students streamed onto the platform; hustling with their trunks; trying to find a good compartment. She was wearing a white blouse with the first two buttons open; with a plaid skirt that reached just above her knees; along with a black cardigan as it was the on-set of Autumn. She stood there; as the whistle for the train blew and people around her clamoured around onto the train. In all honesty; if Sirius hadn't picked her up and Remus hadn't hauled her suitcases on-board; she wouldn't have made it to Hogwarts that year.  
"Merlin Lily what were you doing standing like that on the platform?! You could've missed the train!This is our OWL year; you'd think you'd have more sense than that after the half a million owls I got!" Remus panted out; his hands on his knees as he caught his breath, "And what are you carrying in these suitcases!? That's like heaving my mother onto the train!"  
"No Moons- that's like heaving my mother onto the train."  
"What's this I hear about you calling our mother fat?" That was James; who'd popped out of their compartment to see where his two plonkers of best friends had run off to.  
Sirius ducked his head red-faced, "She's just your mother James. Mine dis-owned me remember?"  
"Ballz to you. Of course she's your mother. She'd hit you in the head if she heard otherwise."  
Sirius rubbed his head, "I know. She's done it before. But that doesn't change things."

The three made their way back to the compartment, but James turned around to a pale Lily, "You coming Evans?"  
She blinked out of her reverie, "Huh? Yeah Potter; be there in a minute."  
He swung down, "Need help with your bags?" Without waiting for an answer; he picked up her duffel bag and swung it behind his back; the other hand pulling along her suitcase. He pointedly ignored all her protests until she just rolled her eyes and let him heave them along the corridor to her compartment where Marlene and Mary were sprawled very un-lady like.

...

"Mr. Potter; your homework?"  
"Um; well, you see- the thing is...how do I explain this? I can't seem to find it."  
"Mr Potter; the homework was at least 3 foot long. How on Earth did you lose a 3-foot parchment?"  
James pulled his head out from his bag; his brunette hair sticking out in all directions, "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. What was that?"  
Professor Slughorn rolled his eyes, "I said.." but it was pointless; James had already stuck his head back into his bottomless bag.  
Slughorn sighed dramatically and said to Lily, "Be a dear and tell him to find it quickly."  
Lily nodded, "Certainly Professor. I shall."  
Slughorn walked back to his desk and sat himself down on the chair; rubbing his temples. James Potter was going to be the death of him.

James resurfaced a few minutes later, blurting out a satisfied "AHA!". His glasses were askew and his hair looked like he had b=just been electrocuted; something he fixed immediately to just messy, but he had found his Potions homework.  
"PROFESSOR! I FOUND IT! SEE I TOLD-"  
James's screams were cut off as a black hound came bounding into the dungeons and starting barking ferociously. He ran around the classroom; grabbing James' Potions homework in his mouth and running out of the dungeons. His wails of despair could be heard at the Astronomy Tower, "NOOO! My IMPECCABLY PUT TOGETHER HOMEWORK THAT I BURNT THE MIDNIGHT OIL DOING! AFTER ALL THAT WORK AND EFFORT: IT HAS BEEN TORN FROM MY HANDS-"  
"Yes that's quite enough Potter; I shall still give you the due points for the homework. You needn't make a drama out of it. It was just an essay. The opportunity to write another shall present itself very soon." Slughorn said tiredly; causing James to instantaneously keep quiet.

It was then Sirius burst in, looking flushed "I heard James screaming. I came as fast as I could."  
Slughorn raised an eyebrow, "The fact that you're half an hour late didn't have any affect?"  
Sirius pretended to think, "It may have had some value; but James' wails were first priority."  
James huffed and pouted, "I wasn't thaat loud."  
Sirius ruffled his hair, "Yes you were you big baby, " which caused a scuffle between the two- that Remus had to intervene and break apart; before the trio fell on the floor laughing, making the rest of the class chuckle, Lily included. Though; she immediately schooled her features when she caught James' hazel eyes- and he grinned goofily.

...

The black hound was becoming something of a common occurrence; and now only elicited surprised screams from the few girls who lounged at the back and played tonsil tennis with their partners instead of concentrating. Lily had become accustomed to the black giant frequenting their(Potter and her) table and now affectionately rubbed his head and fed his titbits when Professor McGonagall wasn't looking. She had taken to calling the dog 'Cass' because he seemed to linger near the girls' tables rather than the boys. She also got used to how Cass only came into class when Potter had homework to give in; and always left with Potter's parchments between his teeth.

While she found it increasingly suspicious that Cass only stole Potter's homework; it did make for good entertainment; with Potter's flare for dramatics and Cass' exburent bounding into classrooms. So Lily kept her suspicions about Cass being a dog that James trained to herself and watched the common-place comedy unfold.

...

"Helloo Lils"  
Lily gasped and her hand flew to her mouth, "Oh My God you're scared the shit out of me Sirius!"  
Sirius winked, "Ooh; ginger's got a mouth on her."  
Lily hit him on the head for that.  
Rubbing his head morosely, he said, "I'm sitting next to you today."  
Lily spun around, "Potter finally decided to sit somewhere else?" Yes!" she grinned and hugged Sirius, "you really are the bearer of all things good."  
He smirked and she immediately regretted her comment, "Oh I know I have good things ginger. But; I must admit- being reminded stills brings a smile to my face."  
She hit him again; with a book on his arm, "Pervert."  
"And proud darling."  
"Why do I know you?"  
"3 detentions courtesy Flitstick-Ow!You're violent you are!Ouch!Can you stop hitting me?! Okay Okay stop-I'll shut up!" Sirius crouched on the edge of the bench; hands raised up defensively.  
Lily giggled and reached her hand out to pinch his cheeks; rolling her eyes as he feebly squatted her arms away, "Keep. Away. From. The. Cheeks. Woman!"

...

"Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall peered over her glasses with an eyebrow raised, "Where is your comrade?"  
He looked up lazily, "James took the day off. Something about the flu."  
"Is that so?"  
" wouldn't have said so if it were otherwise McGonggie."  
"Noted. And where may I ask; is your homework?"  
"Um..well; you see, it's decided to place hide and seek inside my bag."  
Professor McGonagall allowed herself an amused smile, "Well; shouldn't you be seeking it then?"  
"And what will I get McGonggie?"  
"You will not be slapped upside on your head for calling me McGonggie."  
He pretended to muse on it, "I'll take it Minerva."  
He ducked; with a smirk as Professor McGonagall aimed for his head with her rolled up Daily Prophet. He stuck his head inside his bag for a full 5 minutes; before resurfacing and taking a dramatic breath and diving back in. 2 dramatic breaths and eye roll(from both Lily and Professor McGonagall) he pulled out a parchment from his bag triumphantly. He thrust it toward her, "Here you g-"  
"STAG!"  
Professor McGonagall's head shot up and Sirius' lips broke into a wide grin, "THERE'S A STAG IN THE CLASSROOM!"  
"Yes I can see that Ms. Brown; you needn't scream my ears off."

The stag galloped up to Lily and nuzzled near her neck; causing the ginger to squeak in fear. She sat stock still as the stag nuzzled near her neck; before going near Sirius; who welcomed the creature with open arms; bringing his face close to the stage's and scratching it behind it's ear. The stag then turned it's attention to a pale Professor McGonagall; grabbing the parchment from her frozen hand and trotting out; but not before running by Sirius once; much like it was extremely fond of the raven boy. Lily belatedly realized that both she and Sirius were covered in stag hair; but Sirius seemed to be radiating too much happiness to care.

Seeming to have gotten over the shock that a STAG had just trotted into her classroom and done away with her student's homework; Professor McGonagall turned towards a beaming Sirius, "And one more thing Mr. Black, Professor Dumbledore wants a word with you."  
He sighed audibly, "For the last time Minerva; I will not go to Muggle Prom with him. That man is nothing if not insistent."

* * *

**Step 18: Your best friend calls you a Mud-blood.**

_"Did you like question 10 Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.  
"Loved it." said Lupin briskly, "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."  
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.  
"Think I did, "said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors ; eager to get out into the sunlit grounds, "One: he's sitting in my chair. two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."  
_

_Wormtail was the only only who didn't laugh.  
__"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously," but I couldn't think what else-"  
__"How thick are you Wormtail?" said James impatiently," You run round with a werewolf once a month-"  
__"Keep your voice down," implored Lupin._

_"Well I thought that paper was a piece of cake," he heard Sirius say, "I'll be surprised if I don't get 'Outstanding' on it at least."  
"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.  
"Where's you get that?"  
"Nicked it," said James casually. He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Wormtail watched him in awe._

_Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored; but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Wormtail was watching him with his mouth open. Every-time James made a particularly difficult catch; Wormtail gasped and applauded._

_"Put that way, will you," said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."  
Wormtail turned slightly pink, but James grinned.  
"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the Snitch back into his pocket.  
"I'm bored," said Sirius, "Wish it was full moon."  
"You might," said Lupin darkly from behind his book, "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you can test ..." and he held out his book.  
But Sirius snorted, "I don't need to look at that rubb__ish, I know it all."  
"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly, "Look who it is..."  
Sirius' head turned. He became very still; like a dog that has scented a rabbit.  
"Excellent," he said softly, "Snivellus."_

_Sirius and James stood up. Lupin and Wormtail remaining sitting: Lupin still staring down at his book, though his eyes weren't moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Wormtail as looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face._  
_"All right Snivellus?" said James loudly._  
_Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, __"Expelliarmus!"  
Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.  
"Impedimenta!" he siad, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his fallen wand.  
_  
_Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him; wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the water's edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view._

_"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.  
"I was watching him, his nose touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously, "There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."  
Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular. Wormtail sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up; but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.  
_

_"You-wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "you-wait!"  
"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly, "What're you going to do. Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"  
Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand 10 feet away nothing happened.  
"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly, "Scourigfy!"  
Pink soap bubble streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth covering his lips, making him gag, choking him-  
"Leave him ALONE!"  
James and Sirius looked round. James' free hand immediately jumped to his hair. _

_"All right Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.  
"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike, "What's he done to you?"  
"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists; if you know what I mean..."  
Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included; but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book didn't; and neither did Lily.  
"You think you're funny," she aid coldly, "but you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag Potter. Leave him alone."  
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly, "Go on...go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."  
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily._

_"Bad luck Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape,"OI!"  
But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James' face; splattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside- down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.  
Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as tough she was going to smile; said, "Let him DOWN!"  
"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes; he got up quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrifius Totalus!" and Snape kneeled over again, rigid as a board.  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.  
"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.  
"Take the curse off him, then!"  
James sighed deeply, and then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.  
"There you go," he said as Snape struggled to his feet, "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"  
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"  
Lily blinked.  
"Fine," she said coolly, "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash my pants in I were you, Snivellus."  
_

_"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape. his wand pointed threateningly at him  
"I don't want you to make him apologize," shouted Lily, rounding on James, "You're just as bad as he is."_

* * *

**Step 19: He asks you out**

"Evans, fancy a date tomorrow?"

~0~

"Evanssssss! I love you...you are my one true love!I must have you!"

~0~

"James Potter. You. Are. An. Arrogant. Toerag. _Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just gotten off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down hallways and hexing anyone who annoys you because you can-I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head it it. You make me SICK."_

* * *

**I usually end this with just a 'Review?' but while researching for this story I've seen a lot of disses about James/Lily over Snape/Lily and I have a few things to say- and I hope y'all reshare the crap outta this; bc it NEEDS to be said.**

**Snape:  
**

**-Is OBSESSED with Lily(hence the matching patronuses)  
-Insulted and humiliated his 'best friend' at 15  
-Spent his entire life HATING her child  
-Resents James for SAVING his life  
-Purposely revealed Remus' secret; causing him to lose his job(No Snape did not make the wolfsbane out of the goodness of his heart; he made it bc Dumbeldore told him to)  
-Was willing to sacrifice James' and Harry's(a one year old child's) life for Lily's  
-Has never matured and just been happy for Lily  
-Quietly stood on the side; with a wand FOR Voldemort; despite knowing that he would possibly kill Lily  
-Created a hex that could potentially kill(and almost has); to use on James and Sirius(y'all know which one I'm talking about)**

**James:**

**-LOVED Lily( hence the complimentary patronuses)  
-Let in his best friend into his house at 15; and also concutted an possibly fatal potion so that Remus wouldn't have to deal with werewolfism on his own  
-Reacted extremely coldly to his best friend just being verbally insulted at 15(showing his loyalty to the people he loves)  
****-Spent most of his life making the world a better place for his child  
****-SAVED Snape's life; despite the obvious hatred between them(And no; he didn't just do this to keep Sirius safe)  
****-Accepted Remus at the mere age of 12 or 13  
****-Was willing to sacrifice HIS life to save his wife's and child's  
****-Agreed to Snape being the godfather of their second child over Remus  
-Matured and changed for Lily  
-Stood wandless in front of Voldemort; trying to buy time for his wife and child.**

**Now tell me; you despicable creatures who hate on James Potter; is he really not worthy of Lily? I'm outraged that people have the nerve to suggest that James is an idiot or that Lily was an attention seeking whore; or that Lily and Snape belonged together. Lily didn't friendzone Snape; she got herself out of a toxic friendship. If Snape really loved her; he wouldn't have spent his last two years of Hogwarts making leude comments at her or watching as he despicable idiots of friends picked on her. No person who is in love would ever do that.**

**Yes, James wasn't the best person in his first 5 years; but he changed and matured. He wasn't made Head Boy for his hazel eyes people. He was made Head Boy because of his brilliance academically; his exemplary leadership skills; how well he reacted in pressurized situation; and how he could alter his entire personality to suit the situation. In other words; his MATURED; and it was a MATURE James that Lily fell in love with; but the bullying toe-rag she despised in the fifth year. **

* * *

**I'm sorry for the rant. I was just livid.  
Just to be clear' while Lily and Sirius(in my story at any rate) have a perfectly healthy PLATONIC relationship; as of now- she only holds a grudge on James entirely. The only argument she holds with Sirius is the way he treats Severus; which also falls apart after Severus calls her..._that._ James and Lily will only form a relationship of any sort near the end of their sixth year. And no; I have NOT put Sirius and Lily together. I happen to extremely chill around my guy friends- something I've tried to translate into Lily and Sirius' relationship. **

** Review? They're always appreciated- and they definitely motivate me to update faster. There's honestly no point in writing a story that no-one is reading.  
-A**


	6. Steps 20 and 21: Year 6

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter

_**Wow; we're already in one of the last editions of this manuscript! To those who were wondering where I went- James can be...distracting at times. Anyway, welcome to the sixth edition of '**__**How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat'. I won't say much; in case I give too much away ;) but I hope you enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
**__**-Lily Potter nee Evans**_

* * *

**Step 20: You wake up to screaming**

Lily Evans was known to be a light sleeper. It was the main reason for why Marlene would slip through her window during the summer nights and sob quietly on Lily's shoulder- trying to block out the sounds of her parents screaming at one another. It was also the reason why Lily soundlessly walked up to her sister and carefully applied foundation on her face; covering up the 'gifts' of purple bruises that adorned Petunia's neck and face. Needless to say; the two never mentioned the day again- but it was the first time in years that the two acted as anything other than strangers. It was due to this little fact that Lily woke up at 2 o'clock in the night and tip-toed down the stairs to find the fire burning in the Common Room. She bunched the sleeves up and started to hold down the fire- lest it ran rampant on the Gryffindor Common Room- when she heard strangled screams from outside the window.

She went towards the giant window to see one lone figure flying around the Hogwarts; yelling at the top of their lungs. Sighing and rolling her emerald eyes, she shrugged on her red sweater and left the Common Room; McGonagall would have a hissy fit if she found a student flying after hours. She ducked under the metal pendulum and muttered, _"Accio broom" _under her breath- hoping to find the idiotic bastard who decided that the best way to keep underwraps was to yell for all to hear.

She neared towards the Quidditch pitch when she heard footsteps behind her and melted into the nearest wall; her hand poised on her wand. She lifted and was in the middle of hexing the un-identifiable person when she noticed who it was; and froze. Remus Lupin ran past her, not bothering to top and position himself on his broom and soared into the black sky, clearly heading for aforementioned screaming student. Curiosity beating all else, she peered out of the shadows to see Remus obviously conversing with the other student; flailing his hands around dramatically. The pair hovered like that for about 10 minutes before screaming student pulled his broom up and flew towards Hogsmeade, Remus following suit.

Intent on finding out who Remus was so ardently pursuing- Lily pushed off the ground and fell behind the pair, close enough to hear them but not close enough to be seen. She strained to hear what Remus was saying and managed to catch a snippet that made her freeze in place, _"James? Prongs c'mon man- this just isn't done."  
_James?! Potter was the one screaming like all hell had broken loose? But- but James was the one with the perfect life, who was always happy and smiling and joyful! What could've possibly happened to Potter that made him so irrational?

...

"What part of _'Leave me the fuck alone'_ do you not understand you bloody wanker?" James shrugged off Remus' hand and continued walking- oblivious to the cold that was hitting his hands.  
"Prongs snap out of it will you? You're not the only one bloody affected by it all right?"

James spun around on his heel and looked Remus straight in the eye; his hazel orbs blazing, "That's the bloody problem you nucklehead. I wasn't bloody affected by it._ Sirius _was. The bloody pathetic excuses of wizards rounded on _Sirius__. _Do you not get it Moony? I wouldn't care if they had done something to me. But they've put my best friend, _my brother_; someone I swore to look after from the minute the raven knucklehead stepped inside my house in the Hospital Wing and now the wanker can't even move properly. "  
"Prongs it isn't your-"  
"Of course it's my bloody fault! Don't you get it Moony? I should've been there to help him when they hexed him. I bloody should've been there. Don't you see? Sirius was hexed because he told Snivellous how to enter the Shrieking Shack- and because the git chose a flipping _full moon_ night to check out Sirius' helpful tip, Sirius is sitting in the hospital wing pulling on strings and fighting to stay alive!"

Remus sighed and began again, "It isn't your fault that Padfoot ran his mouth. It isn't your fault that Padfoot mis-judged the dates and told Severus on a full moon night. And it certainly isn't your fault that you _saved _Severus from a near certain death. Padfoot owes you and Severus an apology and he knows it. And you have the brains to know that Padfoot can hold his own against 7 Slytherin. If Padfoot is sitting in the Hospital Wing after being hexed- I think you know that this is his way of repenting the trouble he put you and Severus through."

"Padfoot doesn't deserve to have to suffer!He's bloody suffered enough! Yes; he made a bloody mistake- but anyone with half a brain knows that he isn't malicious, just, mischievous. He shouldn't bloody be half dead!"  
"James- Sirius almost had a student killed. A student he is infamously known to terrorize. He has realized the gravity of his error and it's time you do too."  
"Realize the- of course I bloody realize the gravity of what he's done Moony? But do you not get it? If I hadn't been so bloody mopey about what Snivellous had said to Lily; Sirius would've have ever approached him or said anything! He wanted Snivellous to prey for what he had done _to me_ and now he's paying the price for it. For something _I _made him do."  
"No-one can make Sirius do what he doesn't want to do and you know it. You know it very very well. I've already almost lost one of my best mates today, please- I can't lose another Prongs."  
James just linked his fingers behind his neck and muttered "I can't either Moony."

Remus sighed," James, there's nothing you can do about the situation. Sirius is lucky that he hasn't gotten himself expelled. Whether or not he's my best friend, the fact of the matter is he almost _killed _Severus. I know that you guys have a rivalry but don't you think that he was taking it a little too far? You're not dumb James, at least accept-"  
James spun around, his hazel eyes burning, " Accept what Remus? That my best mate is grappling on thin strings, trying to stay alive? Well I'm very sorry Remus_, _but I cannot just accept that. And for the record; Severus isn't completely innocent."  
"Isn't completely- for god's sake James insulting the woman you're in love with doesn't qualify him for death parole!"  
"I'm not talking about that you wanker, when I grabbed Severus' hand; his sleeve flew up against the wind. The greasy son of a bitch's been shortlisted."

Remus' green eyes widened, "Don't be preposterous Prongs, this is Severus we're talking about! You know what it entails to be shortlisted."  
James laughed homourlessly, "Yeah well 6 months ago I wouldn't have thought that he would've called Evans _that. _People change Remus."  
"But to be shortlisted, you would need to-"  
James nodded grimly, " You need to have killed someone. And guess who it was Remus. Go on."  
Remus' white face paled with realization, "You don't mean-"

"I looked into it this afternoon; because I wasn't able to sit still. If I'm not mistaken, _a__nd I'm usually not in matters like these, _Severus Snape was involved in the very recent muggle family raid. You know, the family that lives _2 houses away from 12 Grimmauld Place? _Still think that Sirius was acting out of line Remus?"

...

Lily crept up to where Remus and James were standing, Remus' hoarse voice cutting through the thin air, "I don't believe it. I don't fucking believe it."  
"Finally decided to believe me did you?"  
"Are you sure that he's killed someone Prongs?"  
"Well I don't reckon that he's got the balls to actually killed someone, but he was at the raid Moony. I'll bet my life on it. The raid was- two weeks ago right? You saw how the tosser was limping around everywhere the next day. And his hands were shaking during Charms! I thought nothing of it the time but when your best mate's life is hanging by the thread; your brain really works well."  
Lily shuffled closer, wanting to hear them better. Raid? What raid were they talking about? She pulled the ends of her jacket sleeves closer to her fingers, feeling goosebumps crawl up all over her skin. She pushed aside the dark green leaves, trying to get a better view of the two boys. She shifted her weight so that she was leaning on her right leg- and stepped on a twig. She froze, her emerald eyes widening.

"Moony, did you hear that?" James' voice was dangerously close- and much crisper than before. Lily held her breath, her wand ready to cast a simple enveloping spell so that they wouldn't see her.  
"Hear what Prongs?"  
"The snap of a twig." James was close, too close. She could hear his deep breaths. She slowly inched her upper body back- making sure not to create another sound and tell him where she was. She cast a mumbled, "_Muffliato" _around herself, and bunched her jacket around her petite frame. Her emerald eyes flitted around, synchronizing with the movements of a certain James Potter.

She watched with baited breath as he bent down, before muttering, "Fuck it," and pushing himself off the ground. She let out a soft sigh and pushed herself up, freezing when Remus came into view. He turned her way and said just loud enough for her, "Work on those stalking skills Ms. Prefect, next time James won't miss you."

* * *

**Step 21: Stuff gets a little hazy**

"Wake up, wake up -Why won't he wake up?!" James paced around the room like a man possessed, his eyes red with lack of sleep and desperation. His cheeks were hollowed in, stained with tears tracks. Remus' face was no better, coloured with scars and ashen with fear. Lily looked at the two boys hopelessly, her ginger hair tied up in a messy bun and her table full of various medical books. On the other side of the make-shift bench sat Marlene, with two biscuits in her mouth and two textbooks in her hand. The girls had found out a week ago that Sirius had been hexed, and it wasn't a Quidditch accident like the rest of the school thought. For Lily, that explained why Remus and James had been fighting two weeks ago when she had snuck out to see who'd been flying- but Remus refused to tell her exactly what it was about.

Both Marlene and Lily weren't able to concentrate in school- Marlene's eyes were bloodshot from crying and Lily had become something of an insomniac. Professor McGonagall had tried on several occasions to make the 4 students come back to normal school life, but with Remus' zombie like actions and James' blatant anger and frustration- she gave up; opting rather to get a signed leave of absence from Dumbledore for the quartet- so that they could camp around Sirius' bed.

"Well?" James turned to face his three companions, "For the love of God can one of you tell me why he won't wake up?! Huh- can you?" He clawed his cheeks and collapsed onto the chair next to Sirius' bed, brushing his unkempt brunette hair out of his eyes and placing his left hand on Sirius'. He lifted his glassy hazel eyes to Sirius' calm face, blinking back tears that threatened to plummet down his wet cheeks, "Wake up buddy," he whispered in a thin, hoarse voice, "I need my Padfoot."

~0~

Lily was shaken out of her reverie by Ms. Pomfrey, who had brought in 4 trays of food from the Great Hall. Lily tried to smile gratefully- and passed on two plates for Marlene and Remus. Ms Pomfrey nodded sympathetically and saw herself out, softly closing the door behind him. Fixing her jacket sleeves, Lily pushed herself off the chair she was curled on and made her way over to James. She nudged him slightly, and whispered, "James, food is here honey."  
He looked at her blankly, before shifting slightly so that she could sit.  
"James you really need to eat- you're not doing Sirius any good if he starve," Lily implored. He nodded slightly, and took the plate from her, "Only if you eat with me."  
She nodded, once- and he smiled slightly. She settled into the little crook that he had made for her and leaned into him instinctively. Both of them sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts. James reached behind her once to keep their finished dinner, before he re-adjusted her so she would sleep better. The pair fell asleep like that, Lily resting on James and James clutching their intertwined palms like it was his lifeline.

~0~

"Well aren't you four a sight for sorry eyes?"  
Lily was startled awake as James shifted abruptly, and her vision focused enough to see both Remus and Marlene just as confused as her. The four of them turned to towards Sirius's bed, to see Sirius propped up straight, his raven hair pushed back and his charcoal eyes gleaming with excitement.  
"And here I thought that James would be a depressed puppy at my death-bed. But I have to say- James cuddling up to Lily is a _much better_ sight."

That was all it took for the four of them to jump on Sirius, James beating all of them. He pounced onto Sirius, wrapping him in a bear hug that Sirius returned, muttering, "You're not dead" over and over. James and Sirius clung to each other; as if trying to assure themselves that the other existed. Next was Remus, barreling the raven boy in a hug- laughing and crying and swearing profusely as Sirius remarked on the addition of scars.

Lily pushed back the boy trio and collapsed into Sirius' open arms, curling onto his lap and hitting him in the chest- 'Don't ever get yourself hexed like that again you disgusting slimeball! You should be better at using your wand than this!"  
Sirius wiped away the tears trickling down her cheeks, "Well looks like you'll just have to teach me isn't it?"

"And what about me?" Sirius looked up to see Marlene. "Oh my Marlene, you've been so sad. I didn't know."  
Lily shifted so that Marlene could clamber onto the bed, and she cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a searing kiss- as if to convince herself that he was real and he was here. "You're alive, you're really alive."  
Sirius smiled at her, a smile full of happiness and love, "Yes Marlene. I'm really here."

* * *

**I'm sorry I was AWOL, and that the chapter is small. Really hope you guys review though, bc I feel pretty uninspired without them. If you fo****llow me, you'll know that I've already closed down one of my stories bc of that.**

**-A  
(Not a PLL fan)**


	7. Steps 22-24:Year 7

How To Fall In Love With An Insufferable Prat-By Lily Potter

**_Welcome to the second-last edition of this manuscript. After this will be a fill in special edition of life after you fall in love with your prat, which could serve as inspiration to never give up on him. And trust me, you need that inspiration. I've been with mine since I was 16 and he had just turned 17, (7 years now) and I still have moments where I go through the a small list I've made of reasons why I decided to marry the goofball. Anyway, laugh, cry, smile and enjoy ^.^  
-Lily Potter nee Evans_**

* * *

**Step 22: You receive the Head Girl badge**

Lily had spent the majority of her summer recovering from the startling realization that she had feelings for James Sodding Potter. Ever since Sirius had moved into the Potter household, James had taken to adding his own anecdotes to every letter Sirius owled to Lily, a habit that used to infuriate Lily. The gravity of her feelings towards James hit her when she spent the better part of one afternoon performing various spells and counter-concealing charms on a letter that didn't have the familiar scrawly handwriting she was used to.

This was further confirmed when she received a letter from Remus that read, _"Stop worrying yourself over what James MAY have written on the parchment. Sirius owled it to you in secret, there's nothing on the parchment." _  
In her shock, Lily forgot to ask Remus how he knew; but of course when she had sufficiently found her bearings again and wasn't in a perpetual state of drowsiness and bed hair- it was too late. What broke her out of her reverie wasn't surprisingly, the fact that she knew James liked her- but rather the arrival of the school owl.

Petunia had picked up the letter and rapped twice on her bedroom door, before swinging it open and throwing the letter to Lily; which she caught with clean deftness. She opened the letter and squealed when her eyes caught the glint of the badge; and was thrown off course when Petunia entered her room and hugged her. Of course the hug lasted barely a second and it not for the split second proximity that the hug offered, Lily wouldn't have caught Petunia muttering, "Congratulations," but she did and Lily was beaming for the rest of the day.

She spent the remainder of the day owling everyone and even ended up agreeing to go to Diagon Alley with Marlene. Of course, she had been avoiding Marlene because the blonde had this uncanny way of working out when a guy was on replay in Lily's mind; and given that she had known James for 10 odd years, she wouldn't take kindly to Lily keeping this from him. This little fact slipped her mind; replaced by her ecstatic attitude that she was Head Girl.

Amazingly, Marlene was just as happy and remained oblivious to the fact that Lily was sporting what was known as the 'I like someone glow'- and rather the blonde passed it off for the 'I became Head Girl' aura.

...

Lily took until she reached the platform on September 1st to realize that if Remus was Head Boy (which was a certainty; there was no-one more perfect for the role) that she would be seeing James a _lot _more. She wasn't quite sure if the thought enthralled her or petrified her- but she was certain that she didn't plan for his hazel-eyed face to show up and make that decision for her. It was better that she retired to the Prefects chambers and started work on the duties and rounds for the prefects. She hauled her trunk onto the train and was dragging towards the end of the train when she bumped into a hard chest.

"Careful Mudblood," a slimy voice sneered, "In a few years a misdemeanor like that will be punishable by d_eath."  
_She looked up to see Avery sneering down at her, Severus hiding behind him. She took a step back and flattened herself against the door of a compartment, "After you- your royal sliminess," Lily smiled at Avery- full of malice. He stepped towards her- close enough for her to smell the alcohol colouring his breath- and lifted his wand, "What. Did. You. Say. To. Me?"  
Lily forced herself to turn her face and look into the black orbs that were boring down on her. She spit out her words, ignoring the and that was poised against her neck, "I said; After you your royal-"  
"Hey get off her; otherwise I'll dock points," Avery and Lily turned at the same time to see James and Sirius approaching them. Avery took a step back and smirked at James, "Of course. Whatever you say." He swivelled around and starting walking the other way, only turning back once to hiss; "Next time Mudblood- your hazel boyfriend won't be there."

Lily straightened her robes and picked up her trunk; lifting her head to meet the eyes still looking at her from the other side. "What?" she spit out, glaring at Severus. He opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius beat him to it- "Piss off Snivellous. Haven't you done enough already?"  
With one last dark look at Sirius and James- Severus turned and quickly caught up with Avery.  
"Bloody pussy," James muttered," Can't believe he has the balls to stand in front of you after what he said."

Lily sighed and gave James a pointed look, trying to fight the butterflied in her stomach as she itched to lean up and fix his glasses, "Potter, we've been over this. You can't say anything about Severus."  
"You also told James that you hated his guts and you'd sooner be seen with the Giant Squid than living with him. That hasn't stopped James," Sirius said with a smirk.  
Lily turned to him with a confused look, "What do you mean live with him?"  
Sirius smacked his forehead, 'Oh right I forgot to tell you. James made Head Boy."  
"What?! That's impossible. I was sure it was going to-"  
"-to be Remus? Remus was more probable, but why do I become impossible?" James cut Lily off with a confused look.  
Lily was at a loss, "No um- ah; it's just that-"  
"You don't think I have what it takes." James looked at Lily with infinite disappointment. "Don't try and defend yourself, it's written all over your face Evans. God- I can't believe that I thought you would put aside what you think of me and see that I'm actually changing. I'm so stupid," James walked past her.

"Potter-" Lily reached out and grabbed his wrist, her eyes watering with tears. He turned around and looked at her fingers before giving her a pointed look, "Potter that's not what you meant. I just meant that-"  
James shook off her hand, "Evans that's exactly what you meant. I have Outstanding in every subject since Year 1; I have personal recommendations from Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick and Professor Mirkwood for my application to attend the Ministry's Auror training academy and yet all you think of me in this no good prankster. Honestly; wasn't Severus proof to you that people change?"  
He walked away in a huff leaving Sirius caught between his two best friends. Against his better judgement, he went and hugged a quietly sobbing Lily, engulfing her in his arms. "He's right you know. He's tried really hard to become the kind of man you want and deserve and you throw it in his face."  
"What if I want him now- just the way he is?" Lily whispered.  
"What? Lily are you serious? He's been in love with you for over 5 years now- please tell me you're not joking about this," Sirius pulled back and searched Lily's face. She silently shook her head, biting her lip and imploring him to believe her.  
"Lily, you have to tell him!"  
"Sirius after what just happened, I don't think James will want anything to ever do with me again," she brushed off her tears and smiled sadly, "You should go after him. He needs his brother."  
Sirius looked at her incredulously, "Lily you have to tell him. Trust me- he'll want to know this. This- this changes everything."  
Lily shook her head softly, "It's ironic isn't it? He spent all these years trying to make me fall for him, and when I do- I've done the one thing that'll make him stop loving me."  
She started walking away, but turned once and said, "Don't tell him Sirius please. I don't want to go through that with him just yet."  
He looked at her, his mouth opened to try and convince her otherwise; but his shoulders sagged imperceptibly and she knew that he was letting it go. He nodded once and smiled, "Your secret's safe with me."

* * *

**Step 23: You become his personal arm-rest**

After 2 months, Lily was stressed beyond measure, exhausted to the point of passing out and wound up till the Astronomy Tower over James sodding Potter. She couldn't fathom for the life of her how someone could be so oblivious to how the people around her felt. For Merlin's sake- even Mary had picked on it by now and she was the slowest person Lily knew. Alice and Marlene flat out refused to talk to her for two weeks because she had kept it from them and she was keeping it from James, Remus and Sirius took great delight in making a large number of inneudos and the thick-headed brunette _still _hadn't worked it out.

At this point she was almost certain that the vast majority of the Hogwarts population, as well as several teachers knew- but none of that mattered because _he_ didn't know. Once Marlene and Alice had gotten over their initial anger- Lily had become accustomed to mornings that usually ran their course a bit like this:

Sirius: Lily you have to tell him. He's a genius- but absolutely daft when it comes to matter like this.  
Lily: I'm not telling him. I told you already, I have enough stress with the NEWTs and the prefects. I'm in no mood to have my heartbroken as well.  
Marlene: But you don't even know that he's moved on! I mean he pursued you for over two years- he couldn't have gotten over you.  
Lily: He stopped asking me out, he's stopped inserting himself into conversations, he only speaks to me when I start the conversation and he's been nothing but bloody civil since we set the password for the Head dorm.  
Alice: Maybe that's his way of showing you that he's no longer the immature boy you thought he was.  
Lily: You don't get it do you? I fell for that immature boy; and I'm falling even harder for this mature- man that he's become and there's nothing I can do about it because he's clearly over me.

The conversation would trail off then; usually because James would deign them worthy of his presence. Typically; the four of them would walk to the Great Hall- but James had become accustomed to waiting outside the library for Remus. In a pathetic excuse to spend time with him; Lily would hang back and allow Alice to play third fiddle to Marlene and Sirius until she found Frank.

"You know that you don't have to stay right?" Lily was brought back to the large hallway that led to the Libary by a deep, concerned voice. She tilted her head from its resting position against the wall to face James, who was in a similar position- one leg propped up against the wall and finger threaded together behind his head.  
"I'm sorry what? I wasn't really paying attention," Lily regretted saying the words the minute they came back, and her cheeks flamed up- burning rouge.  
He laughed, and even though she was still mortified, the laugh made it worth it, "I told you that you didn't have to wait here with me; Remus isn't usually more than 10 minutes," he repeated, a small smile playing on his lips.  
"I'm fine with waiting, and unless Remus has drastically changed over the summer, he takes just over a half hour doesn't he?" Lily was oddly proud of herself for getting that out without stuttering and while holding his gaze.  
James just shook his head in amusement, "Well if you're going to decorate the walls with me, you might as well be useful," he gestured for her to come over," I could use a good arm rest."

Mentally squashing the butterflies in her stomach because _James wanted her to come stand next to him_ she fought down a squeal and maintained a neutral expression. "And why would I let all that fat rest on my petite body? I would like to graduate in one piece you know."  
In response, James lifted the loose end of his shirt, partially exposing his toned stomach, "What fat?" he asked with curiosity; and Lily was eternally grateful that he didn't look up because she was certain her jaw went slack. He dropped the shirt and she shook herself out of the daze; the last thing she needed was for him to see her like that. He might go ask Professor McGonagall for a separate dorm.

He looked at her intently, "Well- what fat? I was sure I had burnt all the holiday fat during the last practise," he swore softly, "I blame this on Sirius and his stupid fudge cake obsession."  
If James didn't know something was wrong, he certainly knew now that Lily hadn't defended fudge cake.  
"Evans, is everything okay?"  
"Yes of course, why wouldn't it be?"  
"Well I just insul-", deciding that he had dodged a bullet, James didn't finish his sentence.  
"Well- will you be my arm-rest?"  
Lily couldn't think of a reason why not, so she went over and stood near James; smiling softly as he placed both forearms on her shoulders and sighed softly. This was so much better than him ignoring her.

* * *

**Step 24: He finds out(and you decide that you owe an apology to everyone else)**

"That is completely and utterly not fair!" Lily cried out in exasperation yet another game of Exploding Snap blew up in her face. James sat opposite her, his legs crossed indian-style and his arms clutching his stomach as he roared with laughter.  
"I told you love, no one can beat me at exploding Snap," he threw his hands up flamboyantly, "I was born to be the undisputed champion."  
Lily huffed and stuck her tongue out at him, fluffing her hair and shaking out any remaining soot, "One more game. I'm positive that I will."  
He shrugged, and then turned to Lily with a gleam in his hazel eyes, "How about we play for a little wager?"  
She knew that it was a stupid idea, but Lily found herself nodding anyway, "If I win, then you will publicly announce that you are no longer the undisputed champion in the Common Room."

James' eyes widened at that, "Evans you just lost 11 consecutive games. Are you sure you want me to lie?"  
Lily shrugged, 'Then no wager. You'll just have to live with the fact that _James Potter was scared of losing," _she stretched out the last g- smirking as his face hardened when the words left her mouth.  
He leant forward, close enough so that they were almost touching noses, and the smirk left Lily's face, "What's in it for me?"  
He gazed intently into her emerald eyes; and she was sure that he could hear her heart pounding against her rib cage. She licked her lips and tried to get herself to say something; but she wasn't able to coherently form a sentence.

"Well Evans? What do I get if I win?" he hadn't yet moved back and she wasn't sure if she wanted to jump back and put a mile between them or close the distance and snog his brains. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes ever leaving her face- and her gaze fell to his curled lips. Her eyes darkened with want and months of pent up feeling took over all reason. She grabbed his face and crashed his lips against hers. She fell against the floor and he tumbled on top of her, and she kissed with him everything she had.

And then she realized what she was doing. She cut it off abruptly and scrambled away from him; moving back rapidly until she hit the wall. Her legs were folded and she was hugging her knees to her chest. Her cheeks were aflame, and she watched as it slowly sunk in for James what she had done.  
"What did- you just kissed me- how did- why?" James looked at her with a confused expression.  
Lily just looked at him with scared eyes, too worried that if she opened her mouth; everything from the past few months would come tumbling out.  
He slowly walked towards her, and sat down in front of her. Carefully watching her to gauge her reaction; he moved her hands and let her legs fall down.  
"If you wouldn't mind," he whispered, leaning in until their foreheads were touching, 'I'd like to kiss you again."  
He slowly cupped her cheeks and tilted her head up; even sitting down he was taller than her. His lips met hers half way, and his arms went around her waist and lifted her until she was on his lap.

Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist and her fingers threaded themselves into his brunette locks, deepening the kiss. He left her lips and started trailing kisses down her neck, smirking against her skin when she threw her head back and moaned softly. Her hands fell from his neck and went around his waist as he slowly lowered them so that he was on top of her- his finger playing with the ends of her t-shirt while his legs were on either side of her hips- trapping her under him. His hands slipped under her t-shirt and his lips worked their way up her neck; decorating her jawline.

He pulled back for a second, and whispered, "Beautiful," before ducking down and attacking her lips.

...

'You. Never. Answered. My . Question," James said in a raspy voice- in between kisses. His back was against the wall, and Lily has comfortably settled onto his lap, content with pushing her hair to the side and titling her head back; exposing her neck and allowing James to cover it with kisses. Their finger were intertwined, and wrapped around Lily's petite waist.  
"What question?" she turned her head slightly and met him mid-way for a small peck on the lips, before scrunching her brows in confusion.  
"Why you-" he leaned before and stole another kiss,"- kissed me."  
She shrugged nonchalantly, 'You wanted to know what was in it for you."  
He chuckled softly, his eyes full of amusement, "If I knew that a game of Exploding Snap would get you to like me then I would've challenged you to a game ages ago."  
"Idon'tjustlikeyou," Lily mumbled, burying her head in his chest so he wouldn't see her red cheeks. He bent down and nudged her so that she was facing him, "What was that?"  
She took in a deep breath, "I don't just like you," she whispered- her eyes trained on their intermingled fingers. Several seconds passed, "Please say something," she looked at him wide eyes; searching his face for any semblance of an answer.

Finding none, she blinked back tears and pushed herself off of his lap, dusting herself off and mentally preparing herself to cry herself to sleep tonight. She made a move to walk over to her when she felt someone grab onto her hand. She turned just in time to brace herself as James pulled her back and she fell into his lap again.  
"Say it again," he breathed, "Please say it again."  
"I think I'm falling in love with you," she looked at him; whispering the words as if it was a secret that only he was allowed to know. And that was all he needed.

...

"I. Have. Wanted. To. Hear. You. Say. That. Since. Year. 2" he stuttered out as he peppered kisses onto her mouth, holding her close and clutching her like he was scared that she would float away.  
"I've wanted to tell you that since the summer," she let a raspy breath as his hands slipped under her t-shirt and spread out against her flat stomach, rubbing small circles and eliciting gasps and moans. He pulled back from the kiss and raised her chin so that she was looking into his eyes, "And I promise to spend the rest of my life making sure you don't regret it."

* * *

**And it is done! Well almost, there's a epilogue still left over. Anyway; thank you everyone who's favourite, reviewed, liked and shared this story; I absolutely adored writing it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter- I know I've left a majority of their relationship out;but once she's already fallen in love- there isn't much I can do. After all, the story is about how to fall in love- not what happens once you fall in love. But depending on your reviews, I could make a Part 2 for Year 7 which follows their relationship. BUT YOU'LL NEED TO REVIEW  
Review?  
-A  
(Not a PLL Fan)**


End file.
